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30 July 2010
Vote for the Exile!
Total Politics is running its top 100 blog list again and this year your friendly old Exile forgot all about it which means we will be lucky to keep our place in the list. Voting ends at midnight on Saturday, so please create your list of at least five British blogs and number them in order of preference. E-mail the list to toptenblogs@totalpolitics.com and don't forget to list at number one:

The Exile - http://exile-blog.blogspot.com

29 July 2010
How to catch women
I was having a drink and fell to chatting with a young fellow who was bemoaning his lack of leg-overs. Being an amiable soul your friendly old Exile fell to reminiscing, and what follows is the sum total of that reverie. There are basically two ways in which a man can ensure a steady supply of pussy. . .

As a young fellow I worked shifts so the weekends were not exactly special for me. I would go out from Monday to Thursday inclusive to hunt for women. It wasn't a case of looking for this or that type of girl, all I was after was a jump and if you are willing to dedicate four nights a week to the hunt, then pussy will come your way. I was lucky in the sense that I drove a nice car and looked like a rising young executive, however by the time madam had discovered the truth about me it was too late and another notch had been added to my cock. My relationships lasted on average about four to six weeks, and then I started again hunting for a fresh source of leg-over material. Between the ages of 18 and 28 I reckon that I averaged between six to ten women a year for that decade. I can't be more precise: after all those years the faces kind of blur and the memory fades.

Fast forward to my years in Mexico and looking back it seemed as if the supply of tight young things was too numerous to count. Sure I had the advantage of being white and exotic, but there was more to it than that: I had status as well.

In my case the status came from being a professor, but women are not particularly interested in the ins and outs of the status: all that matters is that he has plenty of it. I could have been a drug dealer and the effect would have been the same. Hard though is is for men to understand - because all we want is a nice shine on our knobs - but women get turned on by a man's status. So when they claim that they are not interested in money they are probably telling the literal truth - the point is that a high status man usually has plenty of readies to flash around, but it is the status that gets them nice and moist.

So what is the lesson for today, young fellows? Well, in your 20s when you have plenty of stamina then you can chase cunt all day and every day and you will probably get enough to keep both you and your cock happy. As you get older you might want to consider either doing something that gives off the aura of success or learning to bullshit so that your little darling thinks that you are a success. Of course she will figure out the truth pretty damned quickly, but so long as you have had your jump, what do you care?

Reading the pearls of wisdom from the friendly old Exile: you know it makes sense.
22 July 2010
A future for social workers?
Christopher Booker over at the Telegraph has developed a real interest in doing over the social work industry. Now that we have a government that does not rely on the votes of creatures like that we should put aside our differences with types like the good Mr Booker an join in the kicking.

The only problem we have is that so many people who form part of the anti-social work alliance are those who have suffered personally at the industry's hands. That makes them keen as mustard, but it also allows the social work industry to question their motives. That is not something that the fuckers can do with this blog, but we are just one small voice.

What is needed is for other blogs to get their kicking boots on and join in the fun. We don't want to debate with these maggots we just want to see the fuckers doing something more in keeping with their intellectual abilities:

Yes, thank you, I will have chips with that burger, Mr Ex-Social Worker.


19 July 2010
Afghan War to end in 2014
Britain's contribution to the war against Afghanistan will end in 2014 according to secret documents obtained by the Independent. Which rather begs the question, who will be the last British solider to die so that our politicians can demonstrate their loyalty to America?
15 July 2010
Cameron is wrong over Raoul Moat Affair
Nobody emerges with any credit from the Raoul Moat affair. Start with Samantha Stobbart who took the opportunity of his imprisonment to tell him that she was dumping him and then in one of those moments that women sometimes have, went on to write that she was getting poked by a pig. That last bit was untrue but it seems to have triggered the rampage. Nice one, Sammie. Then go on to all the police forces who were involved and who turned out to be the Keystone Cops, as directed by Fred Karno, and you will agree that there is enough shit here to cover everyone involved.

However, the biggest dollop must go to the government, especially David Cameron who decided in one of those brain fart moments that politicians sometimes have that he would condemn the people who rather sympathise with the late Mr Moat. The fart then became even louder when he went on to call for Facebook to censor a tribute page to Raoul Moat that somebody had set up.

All that Cameron has done is to make the late Moat into even more of a hero in parts of his old stomping grounds and ensure that yet more Facebook pages are created. An issue that would have died as much of a death as Moat himself now looks set to run and run.

Nice one, Dave.
14 July 2010
Britain revokes Anna Chapman's passport

Given that all she seems to have done is take publicly available information and then pass it on as being the results of her efforts, surely Britain could have given her a job? She could have been put to work researching student essays and cobbling together dodgy dossiers out of them to help justify the next lunatic war of aggression.
13 July 2010
One in five people in Britain will be enrichers by 2050
Get ready to celebrate a bit more diversity in Britain! A decade ago just 8% of the British population consisted of immigrants and their descendants, but that looks set to rise to 20% by the middle of the century as yet more people flood in to enrich our country by their presence. What a marvellous land it will be when fully one in five of the population is of the enricher caste.

12 July 2010
On Admiral Horthy and modern Britain
Hungary is certainly landlocked, but there was nothing strange about Horthy's rank. Austria-Hungary had a long coastline and a pretty large navy until the state fell apart in late 1918. You would expect well-paid BBC journalist to know things like that. Not because he has done his research, but because he is a well-read man who just has that basic information in his mind.

The fact that this one didn't says a lot not only about him, but about the state of Britain today.
08 July 2010
British cut and run in Afghanistan
When even the Telegraph has to admit that the British have been forced out of Sangin by the Afghan resistance, then you know that something about the forward march of imperialism has gone pear-shaped. It would be nice to be able to equate this latest victory for the people's arms as coming under the leadership of el Che, Fidel, or good old Uncle Ho, instead of a bunch of inbred primitives who stick their noses in the dirt and their arses in the air five times a day. However, beggers can't be choosers. . .

It has been a long, cold decade since 1999 and the war against Yugoslavia, but now we can see the end to the business. The forward march of globalised capitalism has been turned back by the Iraqis and the Afghans fighting for ideologies that are far older than socialism.

Given that we spent the time arguing amongst ourselves I suppose that we should just be grateful that someone, anyone, was willing to stand against the common enemy - and beat him!
06 July 2010
Budget thoughts
The interesting thing about the reaction to the recent budget on the estates is that there is no reaction: nobody seems to care. We are told that the budget will hurt the poorest, but just how true is that claim? Housing benefit is to be capped at some point in the future and also at some future point the people claiming invalidity benefit may have to see a doctor more often to be assessed for work, but other than that nothing has really changed. The working poor will see their incomes increase with the rise in tax thresholds, which is something that most normal people will support.

Frankly, this is not a budget that the working man is going to get tied into knots over.
05 July 2010
Advice for a young man
I was having a drink with my 21 year old nephew the other day, as he sat with his head in his hands bemoaning his fate. Translated into simple English, his girlfriend has dumped him and he thinks that the world will come to an end.

Casting around for something to say I made what I thought was the very obvious point that we get better with age and women just get old. My nephew looked at his favourite tio and cocked his head to one side, thus encouraging me to continue. He will be very attractive to women in thirty years time, when men will pass the bird who dumped him without a second glance. The fellows are competing with each other now for her attention, but let him wait a few years until all the makeup in the world cannot hide the sags and cellulite.

Not only that but the next generation of prime young pussy will be competing with each other to get my nephew's attention, especially when he finishes his postgraduate degree in this country. He will be fighting them off and if I am still alive then I asked that he toss me some of his leavings which made him laugh.

So relax nephew, and all you other young fellows out there who are reading this. Life may not be so great at 20 but it is seriously bloody good later on - that's when we come into our own!