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14 June 2010
Caroline Nokes polishes Tory toyboy's knob
Is David Cameron jinxed? He phones the England team in South Africa to wish them well and sales of Rob Green shirts go through the fucking roof - in Scotland at any rate. During the election campaign he praised 37 year old Caroline Nokes as a hardworking local woman and it turns out that her hard work involves polishing her toyboy's knob at public expense. That's right, this slapper is the first of the new parliamentary intake to be embroiled in a combined sex and financial scandal.

The sex part came to light when Caroline texted her lover, Tory Councillor James Dinsdale (27) that she was bored with a Commons' debate -we at Team Exile get the feeling that Caroline has a bra size larger than her IQ - and the two made plans to meet up at the four star Kensington Close Hotel later that evening.

She arrived at 11.20pm and Jimmy showed up ten minutes later ludicrously wearing a hooded top to be let into the room by Caroline who had smile of anticipation on her lips. Jimmy left two hours later, presumably having first emptied his balls, and Caroline spent the night alone leaving the hotel at about 8.30am in a taxi.

Caroline Nokes and her lover James Dinsdale.

Taxpayers who are chortling over this lascivious tale will be interested to learn that they forked out for the hotel bill. Caroline Nokes chose a hotel with a tariff of £129.25 which is 75p inside the limit for parliamentarians who spend a night away from home. Still chortling, are you?

Where will the curse of Cameron strike next, we are forced to ask?

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