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27 February 2010
Weekending: Carry On Caravanning

This video has everything. A prime spastic as its leading man and a chorus of blokes with pints in their hands who all stand around chortling. All on a summer's day in what looks like a Lancashire mill town.

What more could anyone want? Wonderful!


26 February 2010
Hustler Video to make a porno musical!
Could I make this shit up? Hustler Video have just got in touch with your friendly old Exile to report that their next movie will be an all-singing fuckfest. You don't believe me? Well they have put out an open casting call for hard pricks and gaping vulvas, the owners of which can also warble to a near professional standard.

Auditions are on the 9th and 10th March, 10.30am prompt, at the LFP Studios, 20932 Osborne St., Canoga Park, CA 91304. Be there, or be forever limp.


Parties refuse to discuss immigration: voters refuse to play that game
According to this BBC report the main political parties have ceased to talk about immigration, but does that mean that people no longer debate the issue?

These two photos are part of a series of nine that are being passed around by e-mail. Headed "This is Beyond Scary" the photos show various inbred types often dressed in their jim-jams and screaming at the tops of their lungs. The photos hit my in-box yesterday having been sent to me by a friend. He had received them from a woman who had sent them to 22 recipients. She in turn had been part of a 28 person mail shot and everyone mentioned had the mail arrive in their in-box yesterday. Not bad going - at least 50 people hit with just two mails.

So is this how things will pan out during the election? If the parties will not address the issues that people want to debate - and immigrations seems to me to be the top of that particular list - then people will find a way to get their concerns addressed. An e-mail may seem to be a not very effective tool, but that is only to someone who does not understand just how fast an interesting -e-mail can turn viral.

Heaven knows how many people will have read This is Beyond Scary, looked at the photos, and then hit the forward button by the time you read this.


25 February 2010
Liz Hurley flashes her tits
Let's face it, we have no good reason at all to run this photo of Liz Hurley flashing her tits other than the fact that she was flashing her luscious bouncers in the general direction of anyone who happened to have a camera handy. Not that anyone cares but she showed up in the Indian sari at the Love Ball on Tuesday evening looking not at all bad for a 44 year old.


A spoof or not a spoof? The case of the anal rings

Click the image to enlarge and then join me in trying to figure out if this is a spoof or not.

OK, some mother is supposed to have found a set of anal rings under a bed and, not knowing what they were, put them up for sale. "Good clean condition, a few marks on the string cleaned up like new with a little water and a quick rub between my fingers," is what we are suppose to believe.

Hmm, yeah, it is all too good to be true, reckons your friendly old Exile. Then again the poster is supposedly from Berkshire, a county where sex is what the groceries are carried in. . .


24 February 2010
British people are all racists thinks Labour
It not the crime it's the cover up that gets 'em almost every time. Back in 2000 the Nu-Labour regime commissioned Going with the flow: managing migration in the 21st century. It appears to be another draft of the Neather Report which we are all familiar with, but it does contain fresh information which should help to sink the already leaky Nu-Labour ship.

Explosively, the report acknowledges that the bulk of the British people favour strong immigration controls, but dismisses this saying: "Recent research shows that anti-immigrant sentiment is closely correlated with racism rather than economic motives."

In other words British people's legitimate fears over the future of their country can be ignored because people holding such views are nothing more than wicked racists. The report goes on to argue that people's views can be manipulated, and government propaganda used to get people to accept the loss of their country. The Exile is dubious about that one, but it must be admitted that Nu-Labour had a good run with its spin and deceit.

What was the aim? According to Sir Andrew Green of Migration Watch the government wanted to square a circle: "They concealed their real intentions in the hope they would benefit from the immigrant vote without losing their working-class supporters. They are now paying the price."

They wanted to dupe us into believing that everything was rosy that that we would carry on voting for them, all the while bringing in boatloads of foreigners to sop up the jobs that were on offer and leaving us on the social.

Come on people: you are not going to vote for these maggots, are you?


23 February 2010
TweedleLabour & TweedleTory: that's the choice on offer
The election campaign certainly seems to be up and running what with Gordon Brown accused of being a screaming bully and David Cameron demanding an inquiry into the charges. Nu-Labour has dug up a former London Deputy Mayor who claims that Boris Johnson believes that he has a "divine right" to be Prime Minister and thinks that he could do a better job than Cameron. Tory blogger Iain Dale got in on the act by running an image that showed Brown as Hitler, leading the public schoolboys at Harry's Place to cry foul. Not that HP is ever behind in coming forward with a smear or two of its own, but Nu-Labour smears are different, or something.

Lost in all of this fun and frivolity is the obvious truth that when the two main parties are interchangeable in terms of economic and social policies, then mudslinging is the only way to conduct a campaign. There is no debate over the matter of immigration and the fact that London today more closely resembles a third world souk than it does Britain's capital. Neither is any party talking about the fact that roughly eighty percent of the new jobs created under this government have gone to foreigners. Labour makes no mention of the fact that the Tories backtracked on their promise of a referendum on the European Constitution because, let's be honest, so did Labour. We could go on, but what's the point?

Both parties need to take the politics out of politics because both parties offer pretty much the same dish to the voters. Faced with that the people really should consider voting for a minor party or refusing to vote at all.


22 February 2010
Sex at Oxbridge, a new shag blog on the block
The newspapers have been going into a feeding frenzy over Sex at Oxbridge, probably because the writer claims to be a student and the hacks are wondering why such ravers didn't exist in their day. They did, but hacks were as loathsome during their undergraduate days as they are today, so their failure to horizontally jog is understandable.

Enough of this merry banter, what are we to make of Sex at Oxbridge? The blog obviously draws its inspiration from Belle de Jour, although the authoress is not on the game: bless her she just likes polishing knobs and who is the friendly old Exile to deny her the pleasure of a well stretched pussy? It may be that the blog's owner fancies making a few bob out of her scribblings as both Belle and Girl With a One Track Mind have done over the years. There seems to be an endless readership for sexual adventures written from the female perspective, so if that is the aim then the authoress looks set to have a winner on her hands.

What do we know about her? Well, she tries to hide her university, but the girl uses Twitter and has given out far too much information on that to continue pretending that she is anything but a Cambridge woman. Sorry but references to Lent Term instead of Hilary and swaps instead of crew dates, rather gives the game away. It is possible of course that she is pulling a fast one, but pending evidence to the contrary the hacks will probably be descending upon Cambridge in an attempt to discover who she is. They might want to start at Newnham College, which has a certain reputation for that kind of thing.

It doesn't look as if the blogger will remain anonymous for long, but so long as she continues to write then plenty of people will continue clicking over here way. Welcome to the world of blogs, Sex at Oxbridge.


20 February 2010
Weekending: MILF of the decade

A MILF is a Mother I'd Love to Fuck, and seeing this video for the first time reminded me of my younger days when, as a keen shaggin' man, I would hit the night spots of Manchester for the Wednesday grab-a-grannie night. Don't ask me why Wednesday was the night when all the mature tottie came out to play, but I was grateful at the time for all those easy knob shines.

This posting was also inspired by a site where lumps of social work shit meet to tell each other how important they are and which has come up trumps in the laughter stakes once again. One webmong in particular had me slapping my thighs in glee when he announced that calling someone a MILF in the workplace would be "gross miconduct" (sic). What can you do with losers like that? Nothing I suppose other than hope that they do the decent thing and stick their fucking heads in the gas oven.

Enough of this merry banter: let's hear it for the still firm birds who clatter and bang like a Citroen 2CV - but get you to your destination all the same!

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Tameside Eye is reporting that ultra-Blairite MP James Purnell has given a big fuck off to Stalybridge and Hyde, and will leave the Commons at the next election. The Eye reports that this will come as a relief to his constituents who are sick of an MP who only shows up for photo ops.

Since being parachuted into the seat at Tony Blair's insistence, Purnell has managed to turn a division that has always consistently voted Labour as long as anyone can remember into a marginal.


19 February 2010
Apple & its iPad
Just a thought. . . There is a rumour going around that Apple is thinking of changing the name of its iPad because it sounds like a sanitary towel. This rumour is unfounded because as we all know the average Apple Crap user has never even seen a vagina, never mind a fucking jam rag.


Tory campaign is faltering through over control
Anti-Tory websites are hosting some hilarious spoofs of Conservative posters, so why when the Tories copy the idea and create spoof posters of their own do they fuck things up so totally? We came up with two answers yesterday, namely that the Tories are slavishly copying Labour's idea and the viewer has to be a political anorak to understand the Tory attempt at humour.

However, there is a third reason why the Tory campaign is misfiring, and that is something that should cause concern in senior Tory circles. In a nutshell the Tories are running a centralised campaign against a bunch of gadflies who are only loosely connected to the Labour Party. We, the gadflies, are in it for the laughs. The fact that it helps Labour is incidental to the cheap chuckles and easy postings that come our way. What seems to have happened with the Labour campaign is that someone came up with the idea of defacing Tory posters and then floated the idea to see if it sank or swam. That is to say that the party is not controlling the gadflies who are busy having a laugh by reposting the images created by other gadflies.

What the Tories need to do is to come up with some humorous anti-Labour notions and see if they can be picked up by blogs that are not connected to the Tory Party. If the idea is good then the web will pick it up and it will fly like shit off a shovel. However, we won't pick up something that is obviously part of a directed campaign. Which is why only the Tory blogs have picked up on the poster campaign and why it is dead in the water. Serious bloggers are individualistic buggers and we don't like being dictated to.

To take back the initiative the Tories need to loosen their control over their campaign. It sounds counter-intuitive, but that is what Labour has done and looking at the polls the strategy seems to be working.


18 February 2010
The Corrigan Brothers cheer on David Cameron

I suspect that David Cameron is going to be heartily sick of this rather catchy little ditty by the end of the campaign.


Tories fuck up their spoof posters
Following on from our reports about people defacing Tory posters let's just see if we can get our heads around this Tory reply. Being too stupid to come up with a spoof of their own the Tories have decided to nick Labour's. They come up with a cast of immigrants, scroungers and BNP types, all of whom announce that they have never voted Labour before. OK, so they were voting Conservative? These are disenchanted Conservative voters - is that what the organisers of this campaign are saying?

Not only that but you really do need to be a political anorak to get the humour. Take the BBC effort as a case in point. You even have to enlarge the image to see the punchline and to understand it you need to believe that Auntie Beeb is a hotbed of Nu-Labourites. And give a shit.

The anti-Tory sites work so well because they play on a simple to understand theme which is that the Tories are utter shits. They are the Nasty Party that is full of nasty people who live in nasty suburbs like Smethwick. On the subject of Smethwick, if the Tories want to try humour, why don't they dig up their unofficial 1964 Smethwick election slogan: "If you want a nigger for a neighbour, vote Labour"? At least it would get more laughs than their current campaign.

Never mind a piss up in a brewery, this lot can't even organise a piss take on the web. This is all too rich for words.


17 February 2010
Osborne's brother is a "paki-shagger" who gives drugs to whores
"That Osborne bloke's brother is a Paki-shagger," announced one of the pub's drinkers, as he waved a copy of the London Evening Standard about. Quick as my gamey legs will allow I hobbled across the road to pick up a copy of the paper, which carried the front page news that Dr. Adam Osborne, brother to the Shadow Chancellor George Osborne, has been hauled up before the General Medical Council for the second time. Buried deep inside the story is the news that Osborne converted to Mohamedism and his wife is indeed a Bangladeshi.

Two things are interesting about this tale. The first is that the Paki-shagger slur, used in northern mill towns usually to describe the invariably fat women who hang around with Pakistani men, has now made its way to the capital city. Funnily enough the words were never used in the great northern cities back in the day, probably because people in cities rarely give a tinker's cuss who anyone else sleeps with. The fact that they are being used in London suggests that something is changing in our country, and that feelings once reserved for small town are now rather more general than before.

Secondly, the story is really about Adam Osborne's cavalier filling in of prescriptions for prostitutes. The Islamic angle was only added as filler, but it is that which people are zeroing in on. The fact that Adam Osborne was giving out drugs to a prostitute and that both he and brother George seem to have a thing about whores is being totally ignored in the boozers.

What matters is that Adam is a Paki-shagger. This coming election is going to be fascinating.


Yet more Tory posters are defaced for our amusement
The blogs can pat themselves on the back as we have forced the Tories to rethink their election strategy, according to the Independent. As soon as the party came up with new posters, which they were fool enough to think "hard to deface," people start electronically defacing them and within hours their efforts were all over the web.

The deal used to be that posters provided a party with extra publicity that came free in the shape of television and newspaper reports about the campaign. That is what the Tories must have been hoping for with their latest set of posters which feature supposedly real people who have never voted Tory before. The aim is to present the Tories as more than the voice of the nastier suburbs, but all that is happening is that they are spending an arm and a leg on the posters and the sites to display them. The people who are taking the piss are not spending a penny and to add insult to injury it is highly likely that more people see the altered versions than the originals. Thus the image of the Tories as the nasty party is actually reinforced because people will remember the images for their humour and be reminded of what the Tories were like the last time they were in power.

This is where the blogs come in because we bloggers are just as bone idle as any pissed old Grub Street hack. Give us an easy posting and we will grab it with both hands - and postings like this pretty much write themselves. So for that reason we spread the anti-Tory word, we do the campaign's work for it, and it doesn't even cost the originators of the campaign a penny either.

Sooner or later the Tories are going to realise that the future of campaigning is not going to be like the past, but until they do we can continue having cheap laughs and easy postings at their expense.


16 February 2010
BNP turfs Times' scab, Dominic Kennedy, out of meeting
To any half decent socialist it comes as a matter of shame that we have forgotten how to treat the gaffers' men. That said, credit where credit is due and well done the British National Party for turfing one of Rupert Murdoch's rancid scabs arse over tit out of a meeting and onto the street. The reason why the party took exception to Dominic Kennedy's presence need not concern us here - it matters only that for the first time in many, many years a lump of middle class shit was reminded of its place!

Dominic - and what a pretty name that is - was pleased to report that he offered "no resistance" to the BNP stewards' actions, which is a redundancy if ever there was one. Of course he didn't put up a fight - that would presuppose that Dominic had a pair and as we all know the middle class are folk who haven't got the balls to be workers nor the brass to be gaffers.

Dominic and his breed are only brave when surrounded by coppers, as they were during the Wapping Strike when characters like Dominic helped to put over 6,000 print workers on the cobbles. On their own they revert to type and whimper like the nesh cunts that they are.

Now why the fuck are the left not dealing with the Dominics of this country in such an engaging manner? Watch a video of the fun, you socialists, and be thoroughly ashamed:


15 February 2010
Casinos online - welcomes American players
I woke up this morning to find a message from an old friend asking for help. He works in the gambling trade and wants people to know that if they are looking for casinos online then his is the one to go for. It seems that evil Uncle Sam tries to prevent Americans from playing the casinos online, so many of the sites refuse to accept American players. That is not the case with this outfit who are pleased to accept punters from all over the world, especially the USA. So if you are looking for casinos online, take a trip over to the well laid out site that I have just linked to and sign up.
Middle class losing out in hunt for university places
Here's a story to break your heart: there are not enough university places to go around so middle class parents have decided that the universities are discriminating against them by taking working class applicants from the comprehensives instead of their public school darlings.

A-Levels have been so degraded over the years that getting a string of straight As is not all the difficult. The universities thus have to rely on interviews and students' personal statements much more than they did before. So if it comes to a choice between an applicant who has been spoon fed all his life and may actually not be all that bright and a rough and ready council house lad then the latter will win the place. At the end of the day he has come further than his competitor and the university can be fairly sure that he won't drop out when no bugger is holding his hand any more.

Try explaining that to the mouthy middle class.


Natasha Gray: bet she can teach a few things!
Remember Natasha Gray, 31, the tasty bit of teaching talent who became Britain's answer to Libby Hoeler in the accidentally flashing it about stakes? The story is too good to die, so let's run it out one more time.

Before she went into the teaching trade, little miss luscious worked as a model under the name of Tasha. She uploaded some of her photos to the iModel.com website, obviously so that putative punters could get a shuftie at her. The girl was a fucking model, remember?

She wangled the position teaching little Tommy Toerag and his mates at Manor Community College in Cambridge in 2002 and dropped her modelling work. Certainly all the photos date from before she started teaching PE at the comprehensive. Unfortunately for Natasha she forgot to delete the photos from the site and according to the Daily Telegraph report from March last year a parent found them and notified the school.

Benjamin Slade is the headmaster and in spite of the fact that his school only manages to get half its scrotes through a GCSE grade A to C, Ben felt able to pontificate in finest sanctimonious self-righteous git mode about Tasha Gray's former trade.

She would certainly be subject to disciplinary action, said Benjie, who went on to admit that he couldn't even suspend Tasha because she hadn't done anything wrong during her time as a teacher. That didn't stop the balding git from running off whimpering to the education committee in the hope that something would be done. It wasn't because no bugger is really interested in pompous toads and Tasha kept her job.

What remains to be said? Would you want your daughter taught by a man who dresses all in black? Having threatened dire actions against Tasha Gray, does he not feel a right spastic every time he sees her wriggling deliciously down a corridor? Finally, has it not occurred to Benjie that maybe the reason why his shithole of an establishment now manages to get half of its pupils though their GCSEs is down to the luscious Natasha Gray who manages to make the day worthwhile by putting a tilt in an awful lot of trousers?

Told you that the story was worth keeping alive. . .

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13 February 2010
Weekending: This bride is cock crazy!

You would think that the bride could have waited until the reception was over before cheating on her husband, but some birds are just so cock crazy that they can't wait that long.

If you still feel romantic in spite of everything, then you can download some rather unusual Valentine's Day cards from this link.

I'll be back on Monday, folks!

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12 February 2010
The Trade Union & Socialist Coalition
Have you ever heard of the Trade Union and Socialist Coalition? That's OK, because neither had I until the other day. The TUSC is yet another set of initials that involves the coming together of a group of Trots with a few trades unionists and the Stalinists of the Communist Party of Britain. In case you were wondering, the Trots are from the Socialist Party and if that name doesn't ring a bell they were formerly known as the Militant Tendency.

The website isn't bad, but it is unlikely that it gets many visitors. If it did then someone would have noticed by now that one of only two links on the press page leads nowhere because the pillock who created the website ballsed up the HTML. The Exile, however, can report that the link should run to this page on the Socialist Party's website. Other than that the only other paper that seems to have reported this body's existence is The News from Portsmouth. This bodes rather badly for the seventeen candidates who the TUSC plans to run at the general election, all of whom look set to lose their deposits if this is all the publicity that the outfit can manage.

Once again the left looks set to mess things up comprehensively with a shotgun coalition - formed in this case between tankies and Trots for fuck's sake - in the run-up to an election. Once the polls have closed the coalition will vanish and another set of initials will bite the dust.

When will we learn to get things right?


11 February 2010
How Labour conspired to admit immigrants
Back in October of last year we argued that the government's immigration policy amounted to a conspiracy against the British people. The regime has always argued that immigration was only about the supposed economic benefits for the country, but now it has emerged that since at least the year 2000 it was really about boosting multiculturalism.

The Neather Report that we commented on in that October posting has now been published in full, thanks to a freedom of information request by Migration Watch. The report's references to "social policy" were excised from the document before it was published in 2001, but the Daily Mail now has the full document with the excisions restored and highlighted - so even the most bovine Nu-Labourite can see what the fuckers were up to.

This amounts to a conspiracy not just because the people of Britain were not consulted about the changes that were taking place in their country, but because the very policy itself was kept a secret. We did not give our consent to the taking away of our country, which was done behind our backs. The people responsible for what amounts almost to an act of treason must be held accountable for their actions at the ballot box.

Let's get these maggots out of office!

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10 February 2010
The Socialist Labour Party's road to nowhere
Given that Tory and Nu-Labour supporting blogs are now inundated with information from their respective parties, it seemed like a good idea to get The Exile on-stream with Arthur Scargill and his mates in the Socialist Labour Party. The idea was to find out their blogging strategy and to see how this blog could fit into it.

Let's be honest and say that the SLP's website is crap. It looks like it was cobbled together by someone who knows nothing about web design in about half an hour using Microsoft's Front Page. Guess what? The pages were knocked together using Front Page and the character who built the site didn't even have the wit to use meta tags in the header - probably didn't know what they were. This is a small party, you may say, but so is the British National Party and just look at their fucking website! A small party can be made to look much bigger courtesy of a decent on-line presence.

Not only that but the SLP can't even get their contact details right. Click over to the contact page and you see that the e-mail address is given as info@socialist-labour-party.org.uk. However if you click on that link the embedded URL reads info@socialistlabour.org.uk and that domain doesn't even exist. That's right, the dickhead who runs the site can't even create a clickable link that works properly. I wrote to the party at the correct address and over 24 hours later the error has not been corrected and no reply has been received. The election is now less than three months away and this party can't even organise its contact details properly - the conclusion is that this outfit couldn't organise a fuck-up in a brothel.

I suppose that we should be grateful that the SLP even has a website. They didn't in about 2000 and a friend of mine who is an ex-miner remarked drily that Arthur probably didn't think that this internet thing had a future. Seriously, and on the basis of the website, this SLP thing doesn't have a future either.


09 February 2010
Alastair Campbell cries on cue: people laugh

Did you enjoy watching Alastair Campbell blubbing at the nasty things that nasty people said about his very close friend Tony Blair? Serves him right, you probably thought, for helping to sell the lies that led to a war that killed many of our soldiers. Here you go, watch it again and again, because Campbell's performance gets more risible with every viewing.

Those lies are a good reason to vote against Nu-Labour, and remember that Campbell is a dry drunk and a manic-depressive. So if the defeat is total then the day after the election Campbell's noisome carcass might be found floating in the River Thames.

Revenge is a dish best eaten cold. . .


08 February 2010
Laugh along at the David Cameron posters
Defacing political posters has a fine and honourable tradition behind it so it's good to see that David Cameron's latest effort is coming in for the treatment. . .

That said, your friendly old Exile detects the black hand of a Nu-Labour strategist behind the internet based campaign that encourages people to go to work on the Cameron poster and then submit their work to internet sites for appraisal by the viewers. MyDavidCameron.com has stopped taking submissions but MoneyMad.org is still going strong and they even provide you with a template to work with.

This is all rather new for British politics, and shows that Nu-Labour still has a clearer understanding of electronic politics than the Tories have. It could be that the impending cataclysm has concentrated minds wonderfully, but the way that it has taken off shows that a lot of people find the idea of David Cameron in 10 Downing Street risible.

That should be enough to give any Tory strategist the willies.


Ricky Tomlinson to stand against Nu-Labour hackette
Neil Clark has the news that Ricky Tomlinson, one of the Shrewsbury pickets jailed for two years in the 1970s, will stand for the Socialist Labour Party in Liverpool Wavertree. Nu-Labour has picked a middle class carpetbagger named Luciana Berger to fight the seat and so contemptuous is she of Liverpool that the ignorant cow didn't even know who the great Bill Shankly was and nor did she know the name of the group who recorded Ferry Cross The Mersey.

Peter Kilfoyle, a Labour MP who is neither leftist nor Blairite has gone on record as saying that: "There has been an operation to put this women into this seat," but it does not look as if London has parachuted the 28 year old into the constituency. Put simply, the Labour Party has been taken over at local level by the teachers, social workers, council apparatchiks and other assorted poly scum. They probably selected this bird fair and square, but that doesn't mean that we have to vote for types like Luciana Berger.

Slowly, far too slowly, opposition to Nu-Labour's arrogance is growing. It started in South Wales in 2005 when the good people of Blaenau Gwent dumped the party and elected an independent to represent them. In Liverpool West Derby the sitting MP, Bob Wareing, was deselected and Stephen Twigg, yet another southern, middle class type was chosen to fight the division at the next election, forcing Bob to stand as an independent. Now Ricky Tomlinson has joined the lists of those seeking to consign the rancid Nu-Labour gang to the political dustbin.

This blog will be proud to support them and anyone else who wishes to help stick the nails into the coffin of the whole Nu-Labour enterprise.


06 February 2010
Weekending: Greece's finest upskirts

Here's a series of clips from Greek TV with various presenters flashing the old upskirt for your pervy pleasure.

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05 February 2010
Three Labour MPs to be charged over expenses
The Labour MPs Elliot Morley, Jim Devine and David Chaytor will all face criminal charges under the Theft Act, and at least one other case is still pending.

Just when Nu-Labour thought it was out of the woods, the party's talent for picking wide boys on the make catches up with it.


A visit to Sainsbury's
My legs are still fairly wonky but getting stronger by the week if not the day. To celebrate this I went along with the bloke whose flat I am dossing in to the local Sainsbury's supermarket. OK, a supermarket is a supermarket, but what do we think about the self service checkouts then? Your friendly old Exile was seriously impressed and surprised by them.

Impressed not just by the technology on display, but with the placid, slightly slack-jawed patience of the people waiting to use the machines. Had these things been installed in Mexico you just know that the punters would have been falling over themselves to avoid paying, but in London everyone seems to queue up, slide every item over the reader and then pay the cost of everything. What an honest bunch of mugs we all are to be sure.

What surprised me was not just that these machines exist, but that they are needed. One woman seemed to be in charge of each bank of six, so the company is obviously saving five wages, but surely the investment in the machines outweighs the costs of half a dozen minimum wagers? On the other hand automatic machines don't go on strike so obviously that must be a bonus for Mr Sainsbury.

Well, that is the first major change that I have noticed after twenty years away. As my health improves I shall obviously be travelling further afield so lets wait and see what else I manage to notice.


04 February 2010
Emma Watson topless photo is a fake
Sadly the photo that we published on Tuesday and which we thought was a shot of Emma Watson naked turned out to be a fake. What can we say? Hey, we are sorry, and to make matters worse we have no idea who the real owner of that perky pair of tits is. She looks nice, though, with her wide-eyed expression, but it is still a disappointment.

The hunt for a genuine shot of Emma's bouncers goes on.


03 February 2010
Women drivers
What makes this photo so funny isn't the fact that the silly cow can't drive. Nor is it the fact that she is as ugly as fuck. It's the look on her fat stupid face that makes this picture a gem.


Banker caught looking at porn in the office

What a complete banker that man is. Just look at him perving over topless photos as his mate chunners on about something or other in the foreground. Then he turns around to see the camera looking at him and switches his screen back to the economic charts that he should have been studying in the first place.

What the balding little banker has probably forgotten is that in these days of hire and fire he is there to show his gaffer what a right loyal little banker he is. Let's hope that his office man's arse was left stinging when the boss found out.

Serves him right for not being in a union.


When Boris & Mandelson went to Davos
Just when you thought that it couldn't get any worse for Nu-Labour along comes another story to prove you wrong. Boris Johnson and his team were flying tourist class to Davos for the economic summit. Up in first class was Lord Mandelson and his chums who took delight in sending back a few delicious canapés and some glasses of champagne to wash them down with.

That is the point. The impression that this tale gives is of an out of touch governing elite enjoying the final fruits of office before the inevitable showdown in May. By way of contrast, old-Etonian Boris comes over as a man of the people who has their best interests at heart.

Tory Central Office must be shaking its head in wonder at this level of stupidity.


02 February 2010
Emma Watson (Hermione Granger) naked
Here's the question of the moment, folks: is this photo of Emma Watson topless the genuine article? Trust me when I say that I can usually spot a Photo Shop job and I can't find a flaw in this image. So are we seeing Hermione Granger naked at last? Click on the image to see it full size.

The Exile reports - leaving you free to perv.


01 February 2010
Lucy Pinder & Michelle Marsh kissing just for you
Here's Lucy Pinder and Michelle Marsh with a bit of girl on girl lesbian action to warm us up on a cold February morning.


Judgement on Labour: let's get the fuckers out!
In politics, the acid test is what you end up achieving. I say to the doubters, judge us after 10 years of success in office. For one of the fruits of that success will be that Britain has become a more equal society.
So said Peter Mandelson in 1997. Almost 13 arid years later the judgement is in: Britain has a society that is almost third world in its level of inequality. The richest ten percent are a 100 times wealthier than the poorest ten percent of the population.

As far as this blog is concerned the general election campaign starts right now. We are going to work to get this rancid collection of middle class interlopers out of office and then out of our party.


The importance of Chilcot
The Chilcot Inquiry into the war against Iraq has not told us anything really new. However, it serves to remind people of yet more reasons why they shouldn't return Nu-Labour to power at the next election.

The first was Elizabeth Wilmshurst who will be long remembered for her cutting one-liner directed at Jack Straw. An inquiry member reminded her that he was a lawyer and thus his opinion as to the legality of the war counted for something surely? Smiling sweetly the lady replied that Straw "is not an international lawyer".

Elizabeth Wilmshurst received loud applause at the end of her testimony, probably as a gesture of thanks to a decent person who resigned rather than support a war of aggression. That is something else that people will keep in the backs of their minds long after the minutia of her evidence has been forgotten.

Finally people will remember that Tony Blair chose to sneak into the building by a side entrance two hours before he was due to testify. They will remember the cries of "liar" and "murderer" that came from the public gallery towards the end as his dissembling became too much to tolerate. Roughly eighty percent of the British people think that Blair lied to get our country into war, and almost a quarter want to see him tried for his actions: thanks, Fettes fuckboy, for coming back one more time to remind them of just what a two-legged cockroach you are.

Impressions count for everything and the impressions that are being given here is of a valiant lady who tried to stop a crime being committed, and of the criminal who sent so many to their deaths in the furtherance of that crime.