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26 January 2010
Mobile ring tones anyone?
A mate lives in a first-floor flat and the girl downstairs receives visits from her boyfriend every time that the good fellow is nursing a blue veiner. As her knobbing increases the girl cries out and my mate reckons that the incredibly loud shrieks are worth recording so that he can have them as the ring tone on his mobile.

Anyone care to recommend a good digital recorder that will do the job? Maybe an editing programme so that he can loop the girl's cries and make the final product rather more professional?

Come on you men - Team Exile is relying on your hi-tec knowledge and sense of sleazy fun.

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5 Comments:

Surely he doesn't need to go to the expense of buying a digital recorder. The onboard sound recorder of any PC or laptop, combined with a quality external microphone, should do the job perfectly well. Thereafter it's down to how much post-processing your mate requires. For example, are the girl's in extremis cries sufficient in themselves, or might he want to enhance them with echo effects, or whatever?

26 January 2010 at 08:51  

I didn't know that there was one, but I can see problems lugging his desktop from its place to the bedroom. I could always lend him my laptop, I suppose... Echo effects sound good, but let's not get too carried away - we'll leave that to the girl.

26 January 2010 at 13:09  

He might also have to consider how much of her repertoire he's going to include in the ringtone. If unanswered, the average mobile rings for about 30 seconds before diverting to voice mail. So, will he be happy to let it ring for, say, 25 seconds with "Yes! Oh, God, Yes!" right up to the crescendo in order to maximize the experience for those listening, or is he going to simply loop the final "Oh Fuck!!!! Aaaggggggghhh!"?

26 January 2010 at 13:15  

But if the final "Oh Fuck!!!! Aaaggggggghhh!" doesn't sound like your mate, mightn't your mate be asked "Is that your girlfriend & who is doing her"?

26 January 2010 at 14:27  

I cannot answer either of these quite wonderful questions since I have never actually heard the performance myself. The e-mailed report had it that the girl made a kind of loud moan that ended in a cry of some kind. I suppose that is what is going to be recorded, but I have no idea how long it lasts.

26 January 2010 at 15:52  

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