15 December 2009
Tiger Woods: how a sex scandal unfolds
A sex scandal is usually like a (soap) opera in four acts, so let's follow a performance through, using the Tiger Woods business as an example.
Act one is something that tips the press off that the shit may be about to hit the fan. In Woods' case this was when he crashed his car under suspicious circumstances. The story that was put out that his wife smashed the car's window with a golf club to free him from the wreckage was just too pat for words. The press began to move in like hungry wolves around a lone lost lamb...
Act two involves the hacks flying a kite to see if the wind catches it and it flies. They will have heard rumours about their putative victim, and the name of a lover will have been discussed in the newsrooms. Rachel Uchitel was the name mentioned most often in the same breath as Tiger Woods, so the press began to speculate that she was the one who handled his number nine iron as it were.The hope is that something will happen, usually that more women will come forward or that the couple at the centre of the storm will make a mistake.
More women have certainly come forward - at least eight at the last count - which has seriously impressed your friendly old Exile. Not only that but Tiger has made at least one mistake by calling Jaimee Grubbs, a 24 year old (ahem) cocktail waitress and leaving a message on her mobile 'phone. He asked her to delete her name from her answer phone message as his wife had been rifling through his contacts. Needless to say this message was leaked and is now forming a part of act four.
Act four is when everyone piles in and the story just acquires a life of its own and then runs and runs. Take the leaked message as a case in point. That has already been remixed and uploaded to YouTube where it received over a million hits in its first week:
It is still too early to tell how act four will finally unfold, but on the basis of this video and the quantity of fit young females who have already arrived, this one could run for weeks.
Then finally it will all be over until the next scandal breaks and the whole performance will run all over again. The names will change but the story will remain the same.