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06 February 2009
Cuba Today: Yet More Girls! Girls! Girls!
Very well, you have your little Cuban cracker - now where are you going to take her? If you have rented a private flat for your stay in the country then you have no problem, but for some reason that I can't figure out the British just love their all-inclusive package holidays, and that means that you are going to have problems with the hotel. It is not that the little miniskirt isn't going to be allowed in - that business of Cubans not being allowed into hotels was always more myth than reality - it is that you are going to have to register her and pay for her night's lodging. If all you want is a quick bit of the old in-out before you send her on her way, that may turn out to be a bit rich for your budget.

You can try to smuggle her in, but the police and security guards who stand outside places like the Hotel Nacional - pictured left - are on the ball when it comes to spotting an opportunity to make some easy brass. They don't want to stop either you or your miniskirt, but they do want a few dollars for agreeing to look the other way. You aren't breaking any laws, but this is Latin-America, and you don't speak the language very well, do you? Come on, just pay up with a smile.

If you are with a prostitute then life is easy because she will have a place to take you. You won't believe this but ordinary people are quite happy to rent out their house or flat to you for an hour or so and the girl will have a list of them. You give the owner of the place $25.00 or so and the whole family just up sticks and goes and sits outside whilst you and the girl get down to your horizontal jogging. As you leave they return to their home as if nothing has happened.

However, if you are with an ordinary girl, the chances of her having a list of available rooms to rent in her handbag are fairly remote. Give her time and she will certainly be able to rustle something up, but that is at your expense, naturally, and time is something that you may not have to play around with.

Now you see why renting a flat for your stay in Cuba makes a lot of sense. If in spite of everything that I have written you have not done that, then just check your little darling into the damned hotel where you are staying and pay the fucking bill with as good a grace as possible. Try to be philosophical and look upon it as the bill for fucking. . .

Other than that, and provided that your new miniskirt is aged 18 or over, then there is no reason why you can't shag yourself silly as part of your Cuba trip.



Excellent series this. Most guide-books prissily avoid the question of how one gets laid, though this is a fairly frequent concern when one is on holiday.

Well done, and hope the recovery is proceeding as it should....

6 February 2009 at 20:09  

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