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05 February 2009
Cuba Today: Girls! Girls! Girls!
Cuba is no more of an island brothel than any other third world country, but it has acquired the reputation as Europe's shagging shop, so if it is girls that you are after, let's take you through the process and make sure that you don't wind up in jail.

These two little darlings came up to me as I was taking some photographs one evening. Neither of them was on the knock as a full-time trade or profession, but neither was willing to pass up an opportunity that was sitting there all on its own, smoking a cigarette.

They wanted a tenner each, or £15.00 for the two together. Since either of them would have probably given me a heart attack at my age, I just bought them a beer each and they agreed to be photographed and interviewed.

The girl on the right was 17 and her cousin a year older. That means that only one of them is of legal age to put a nice shine on a foreign knob. Contrary to what you may have heard, the Cubans take these things very seriously. If two Cubans want to go to bed, then nobody cares how old they are. However, if the girl is under 18 with a foreign man and the police get wind of it then they will prosecute.

You can check a girl's age by asking to see her carnet, or identification document. If she claims that she left it at home, then forget it because she is lying. It means that she is either under age or the plods are after her for something - either way she is trouble so find someone else.

The finding is easy because they will find you. I was walking through the main square when a lighting engineer for a concert that was due to be held there dropped her gear and asked me if I fancied a quickie? I get the feeling that Cubans don't take sex all that seriously and are quite happy to treat it as a profitable bit of fun.

The Cuban blokes are just the same - which is rather nice if you are a dog rough social worker, say, and find it difficult attracting men back home. Funnily enough I was enjoying a glass of rum in some swill shop or other and fell to talking to a young fellow who basically made a living out off getting females who bark as a means of communication onto their backs. In theory his bastard work was in some office or other, but the nice thing about the Cuban system is that if you neglect to turn up now and again, nobody gives a stuff. As with the fishermen that we looked at in an earlier posting, this cocksmith could pull in enough by stretching just one pussy to make the rest of the week his own.

Coming up next - where to take your miniskirt!



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