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30 June 2008
American political advertising


Sarcasm as political propaganda - that's my kind of politics. I am quite taken with this Democratic Party agitvideo, and the site that contains it, which uses actors to play stereotypical Republicans. I was most taken with the guy who said that he was quite happy with "cheap plastic crap from China".

OK, at 3.30 minutes it is a bit on the long side and the joke does tend to wear off before the end. That said, I like the production overall, and am left wondering when fun like this will arrive in the UK?
Inflatable Party Rentals @ inflatableadventures.com
Got an outdoor event coming up? Forget the party rentals guides, because this site has just about all the inflatable party rentals that you could ever wish for. From giant inflatable movie screens to water slide party rentals, this outfit has it all. So if the event is outdoor, and you want to make it as memorable as possible, then take a trip over to inflatableadventures.com and see what they have to offer.
MorfoSintactica.com: Translation Service
A friend of mine has set up a new translation service and has asked me for a plug. MorfoSintactica.com does what just about every other translation service does, but it aims to do it just that bit faster and at a price that will delight you. They can do that because they are based not in London, but in Mexico City, so it's not just that overall costs are lower, it's that tax is not levied on translation services. So you get the triple bonus of highly skilled translators, who work cheap compared to their western counterparts, and with no nasty tax to be added to the bill.

The company uses GMT as its base time, so if you want them to call you for a chat about your translation needs, then just let them know the time and leave the rest to them.

MorfoSintactica.com: the place to go for tomorrow's translations today.
What is blogging??
What is blogging? Roy Greenslade over in the Guardian dismisses the notion that it is little more than an "ego trip," or "a form of anarchy" and comes down firmly on the side of those who see it as a type of community discussion between bloggers and their readers.

This particular blogger is dubious about that community idea, if only because so many bloggers actually censor what is written in their comment boxes. In other words what they are after is not a free flowing discussion of a posting's worth, but an echo chamber, in which the commentators tell the blogger what a fine fellow he is. What criticisms that are allowed are usually set within narrowly defined limits that are set by the blogger.

So what is blogging? It is clearly a publishing process, but one that owes more to the pre-nineteenth century tradition of the political pamphleteer than it does to the tradition of the newspaper that covers all the news that its readers will want.

Each blogger has his own agenda, just as the old pamphleteers had theirs, but unlike them the blogger can interact with other bloggers who have different agendas, but whose aims will coincide at certain points.

Let me give you a couple of examples. Back in 1999 I supported Yugoslavia, as was, against the western aggression that was unleashed upon her. I didn't particularly care that it was Yugoslavia, it mattered only that someone, somewhere, was standing up to the forward march of globalisation. When I began to blog in 2005 I naturally continued to support Serbia. This brought me into contact with Neil Clark - who knows a lot more about that part of the world than I ever will - and through him, the Serb nationalist blogs. So here you have a British socialist, who links up to another socialist and together they connect loosely to a group of Serbian patriots. The final aim of both sets of blogs is obviously different, but everyone knows that at the moment we can work together on the basis of a shared policy.

So it is with Mothers for Justice and UKSecretCourts. I began blogging about the social work filth fairly recently. It is obvious to any socialist that capitalism cannot be destroyed so long as it can rely on a large parasitic middle class for support. Fighting the whole class is a loser's game, so I chose one element of it to target. The social work filth just drew the short straw because I guessed, rightly as it turned out, that just about everybody loathed them, albeit for different reasons, and thus I would find a ready audience for my bile.

As it turned out I got rather more than that as my writings brought me into contact with campaigning groups like Mothers for Justice, video makers such as UKSecretCourts and even libertarians who want to privatise the state. All of these groups and individuals have different motivations and different ends in mind. However we come together on this issue and so far we have all worked quite happily in each other's company.

From Serbia to teaching pathetic little lower middle class scrotes that their puerile little poly degrees do not give them the status that they crave - it's all pretty eclectic, isn't it?

It is indeed, it's about having a series of interlinking blogs and websites, all with their own agendas, and then some coming together at specific times over specific issues.

To me that is what blogging is all about.
28 June 2008
Emma Watson (Hermione Granger) Upskirt
Folks this is the lovely Emma Watson, who plays Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter series. What can we say about this careless young lady, as she flashes the old upskirt like that? People might think that she did it on purpose just to get noticed. OK, Emma, it worked. Chaps, you know the drill: click on the images to enlarge them.

See you next week!

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27 June 2008
Nu-Labour comes fifth in Henley
Nu-Labour dropped to fifth place in last night's Henley by-election. Nobody ever expected them to take the seat, but polling only 1,066 votes and coming in behind the Greens (1,321) and BNP (1,243) has got to rankle. All the other parties saw their share of the vote rise, as Nu-Labour's crashed to just 3.07% - a fall of almost 12% on the general election.

Things just keep getting better, don't they?
Nu-Labour stooge for Haltemprice & Howden?
Excuse the cynicism, but has Nu-Labour found itself a stooge candidate for the Haltemprice & Howden by-election. That was my first reaction when I read that Jill Saward has thrown her hat into the ring, an act which brings the number of declared candidates to a massive 26.

The reasons why I suspect that Jill Saward is actually a wholly owned subsidiary of Nu-Labour Plc are to be found on her web site. She talks about a "phoney by-election," and claims that David Davis is opposed to the DNA register. He isn't, he just believes that people who have been acquitted of the charges that they faced should have their DNA records destroyed.

Of course the fact that Jill Saward comes over as a Nu-Labour Dictaphone does not mean that she is a genuine stooge. It could be that she just happens to trot out the Nu-Labour line by accident.

However, the party does have previous form when it comes to running candidates like this. Martin Bell was a case in point, as the Campbell Diaries, as well as the comments of other Nu-Labour insiders, proved.

The point about a stooge is not that he or she has to behave like a puppet, they just have to act in the interests of the puppet master. In the case of Bell, his criticisms of the Blair government were neither here nor there because Nu-Labour knew that it couldn't ever win the Tatton constituency. So what it helped arrange, courtesy of Martin Bell, was that the Tories lost it.

It looks as if Jill Saward may come into that category as one of Nu-Labour's useful idiots. She won't be able to take the seat, but will have put forward Nu-Labour's nasty agenda without the party having to run itself. We will know once Nu-Labour people start gloating if these suspicions are correct.
26 June 2008
Slavs at work
Somewhere in Russia. Well, maybe not Russia, but east of the Oder-Neisse Line.

Yeah, you guessed it, I'm having a lazy night.
25 June 2008
Why the Zimbabwean opposition has been stuffed.
The world of wank is frantically pulling its collective pud over a piece by John Simpson, the BBC's Senior Political Editor. Simpson had the temerity to say that the Zimbabwean opposition, and its leader, Morgan Tsvangirai, had "been completely outmanoeuvred" by Robert Mugabe, who is now set "for a remarkable victory, when only three months ago he seemed to be on the ropes".

The problem here is that both those statements are the literal truth. Mugabe has outmanoeuvred the opposition, and his manoeuvres ended with the the bludgeoning and battering of the opposition. Manoeuvres don't have to be sophisticated - they just have to work.

It is also true that three months ago Mugabe looked like a man on his way out. The opposition was making all the running, and the fact that Mugabe will now remain in office is as much a condemnation of that opposition as it is a recognition of Mugabe's lethal skills as a survivor.

To be honest, the Zimbabwean opposition has a long and sorry record of cack-handedness when it comes to, well, opposing Mugabe. It seems to pretty much rely on western governments, and their agencies, providing it with the kit and the expertise that allowed it to function. When the west's talents proved unequal to the government's, then the opposition began to creak.

Let's take the case of SW Radio Africa as a case in point. This short wave station was set up in London in December 2001 with funding from, it is rumoured, the British and American governments. Everything went well until 2006 when the Zimbabweans imported Chinese made jamming equipment and just blasted SW Radio Africa off the airwaves.

The point is that for several years the opposition could get its message out, and thus it did nothing to prepare for the day when that message would have to end. No network of secret transmitters was ever set up within the country, no illegal newspapers were established - everything was done via SW Radio Africa.

Then when that station recently began to get its message through once more by switching its frequencies, Mugabe's men started to confiscate the Baygen radios that the western governments had given out in the country.

Compare this level of sheer indolence and stupidity with what the nationalists, under Mugabe, had done during the bush war. They had radio transmitters inside the country that broadcast to the people. It is true that most of the agitprop signals came from neighbouring countries, but there was always going to be at least one station inside Zimbabwe that was broadcasting, even if only now and then.

Mugabe's Zanu party was Chinese trained, and the Chinese made it plain that 90% of guerrilla war is political, not military, action. That is why a radio station had to be on air from inside the country, not only so that it could broadcast to the blacks. It was also to let the whites know that opposition existed - it helped to lower their morale.

Nationalist newspapers existed. Mimeographed sheets that were passed from hand to hand, but someone had to print them up, which meant that people knew that an organisation existed.

In those days even a small radio transmitter took up a big suitcase and weighed a lot. Printing presses were also heavy and bulky. Today you can get a transmitter inside a briefcase and any computer and printer can run off a newsletter.

So, this is why the opposition is being stuffed. It has relied too much on the west, and the west's advice. It needs to go underground and operate as the nationalists operated 30 years ago.

Until it does that then all the howling from the world of wank won't alter the fact that Mugabe and his men have just run rings around the opposition.

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24 June 2008
More calls to invade Zimbabwe
Paddy Ashdown has ceased fucking his secretary and now wants us to consider invading Zimbabwe. Harry's Place is wanking already at the thought of us doing that without any further consideration. The concept of us is generally agreed to mean our sons, not theirs, by the way.

Now we have had this lunacy before and your friendly Exile pointed out then that Zimbabwe is landlocked so the only way to actually get into the country is either by the invitation of a neighbour, or by fighting a war to cross that neighbour's soil. Needless to say, the Harry's Place gang are too busy salivating at the thought of yet more death and destruction to think about that minor point.

There is another minor issue that stands in the way of this proposed cakewalk. Read these words carefully, you warmongers: Plenty of Zimbabweans will fight if invaded. Got that?

OK, here is how things will pan out. Mugabe is of the Zezuru clan, of the Shona nation. The Zezura make up about a million or so of the population. They now command the armed forces and have done ever since the much larger Karanga clan - who did most of the fighting in the War of Independence - were purged from their senior posts in the armed forces in 2004.

Now it may very well be a crap army, but as Iraq proved, you don't have to have state of the art training and equipment to tie a modern force down.

The monsoon season lasts from November to April. At the moment the climate is cool which means that the elephant grass is still as high as the animal that it is named after. That grass will not die down until the extreme heat and lack of water kills it off from August to November.

Now you don't need to be a military genius to figure out what will happen if Zimbabwe is invaded over the coming days or weeks. The invaders will face any number of Zezuru, coupled with whatever clan fighters they have managed to recruit from the other Shona clans, all hiding in the elephant grass waiting to make life very nasty for any white man that they see coming their way.

Paddy Ashdown is yesterday's man, trying to make a name for himself today and the Harry's Place gang are just completely fucking demented. We, the sane people of Britain need to make it clear to all and sundry that we are not going to support yet another war against yet another third world shithole just to make people like that feel all warm, cuddly and important.

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Political farts and class war wolf whistles
Popular resistance to capitalism's advances can take many forms. As we have seen in Iraq, tribalism and religious militias are often far more effective at mobilising that resistance than some pillock with a well-thumbed copy of Das Capital. How could popular resistance work in the UK? Well, in the same way that it has always worked: by drawing on popular attitudes that are rooted in our culture. The job for the socialist activists would be then to organise on the basis of that popular culture. However, the resistance has to come first.

You're not with me, I can tell, so I have an idea: let's take a stroll down memory lane, shall we?

Many years ago I had a mate named Frank Higgins who worked as a mill yard man. Cotton would arrive on the lorries and Frank would see that it got moved from the yard to wherever it was going to be stored in the warehouse. Then he would move the finished rolls of cotton from the warehouse to the lorries that carried it away. Basically, if it happening in the yard, then it happened because Frank wanted it to happen.

Frank had a quite amazing talent: he could fart at will. So when some under-manager came into the yard and gave Frank some old buck, Frank would just take the weight on his right foot, lift his arse a couple of inches and let rip. He would then look the lump of management filth in the eye and come out with his catchphrase: "Good arse," he would say.

What happened next really depended upon the order that Frank had received. If he had been told to do something that actually was his job to do, then he would light a cigarette - always taking his time, so that management filth knew that things were not always going to go their way - and then he would slowly walk off to carry out the task. If he knew that he was being asked to do something that was not his job, then he would just ignore the directive and leave the person stood in the yard, surrounded by the pungent odour of a Frank Higgins' special.

I suppose at this point you are expecting to be told that Frank was the union steward or mill convener, but he was nothing of the sort. He wasn't interested in the union and only went to his meetings when a pay rise was being discussed. He was just a typical bloke who had a very rare talent for farting. Like all of us he did his hours, but he was able to demonstrate both by word and arse the utter contempt that he felt for the boss's place, boss's problems and boss's profits.

I thought about "Good-Arse" Higgins yesterday when I read this load of old wank in the Daily Telegraph. A Further Education college wants to stop its female pupils from whistling at some building workers. On one level it is silly, but if you read through the article, then you will see that The Sexual Offences (Scotland) Bill will make it a criminal offence to whistle! All of a sudden it ceases to be silly.

It is a demonstration of class power, nothing more and nothing less. It is no longer enough that we do our bastard hours, now we are being conditioned to do them in the way that the middle class management filth wants. We have to behave in a manner that they find acceptable.

Now I know what the reply of "Good-Arse" Higgins would be to all this. It should be our reply as well. There is a river of blood that separates working class attitudes, culture and values from those held by the vermin that stands on the other bank.

Let's be honest - our women are well used to handling Jack the lad when he gets fresh and are quick with the old two fingered salute and stream of obscenities. However, the next time you see some little lower middle class tart, make sure that you drop her a whistle even if she is so fucking ugly that if she had the last cunt on earth you would sooner have a wank. In your own little way you are making your very own political statement.

Although not as ripe a statement as the ones that Frank Higgins used to make.

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23 June 2008
Just a thought
In place of a posting I just want to give out a quick thought. I have often wondered if the real reason why Nu-Labour took Britain to war against Iraq in 2003 was the fear that if they didn't, then the Tories would attack them from the right. Blair was so determined to protect that right flank that he was prepared to come out with any old guff to prevent a Tory charge from that quarter.

Maybe the 42 days detention had a similar origin? If that is the case, then it makes the government's collapse even sweeter. In trying to shore up their position against an attack from the right, they left their left flank wide open.

Just a thought...
22 June 2008
David Davis & a shami kebab moment
Just when you think that life can't get any sweeter, along comes the Nu-Labour gang and balls things up for themselves even more.

Yeah, it's back to David Davis all over again, who is just getting publicity the like of which you cannot buy courtesy of Nu-Lab and its prime spastics. Basically, it has emerged that some bird named Shami Chakrabarti, who heads a civil rights pressure group, has been advising Davis all along.

So far so boring, but then in stepped yet another Nu-Labour mong, and one who makes Luke Akehurst come over as a tactical genius. Step forward Andy Burnham, the Culture Secretary, who accused Madam Kebab of having "late-night, hand-wringing, heart-melting phone calls" with Davis. At which point the said Shami Kebab threatened to sue unless he withdrew the remark. Quite what he had said that was actionable is pretty debatable, but that's not the point.

It's also not the point that back in early spring of this year I was glugging beer with some old friends in London and the conversation turned to matters horizontal. To be fair it almost always does when I am around as I just have that effect on people. Anyway, one of my drinking companions leaned forward and told us all about a "front bench Tory" who was engaged in a leg-over situation with "some darkie".

There being no names and, therefore, no pack drill, I just filed away the tale and forgot about it. Besides, one politician getting his knob polished by one bit of spare fluff is hardly news, is it? I remember telling the gang about the time when a Mexican Congressional delegation went to China and were presented with a fine crop of mini-skirted talent in the hotel bar and each lucky delegate was then encouraged to pick two of them for the night. The girls were waiting for them in their rooms after they had drunk the bar dry. Now that's political gossip - as well as a great Chinese takeaway service come to think of it. . .

All that aside, I don't rate the Dave and Shami tale all that highly on the veracity scale. It may be just me, but when so much easy tottie is being laid on what senior figure in his right mind would waste time on this overweight female? Besides, her tits look scrawny to me. You could imagine her getting fucked, I suppose, but then fucked off immediately afterwards. Sorry, but I don't buy the hearts and flowers angle.

However, this ludicrous series of events has now snowballed and what we are seeing is a whole carefully constructed liberal-left middle class edifice come tumbling down. The silly sods are fighting each other, with various Nu-Labour types taking the side of either Burnham or the kebab woman. It is a delight to behold and is yet another nail in that Nu-Labour coffin.

It's even spread to the wankblogs! Frances Sedgemore was one of the more precious of the Drink Soaked Wankers For War bloggers and he has swished off in a queenly huff and is now screaming about me at his own blog. Don't ask me how I got roped into this but it is seriously entertaining.

As for us, I reckon that all we should do is sit back and leave them to get on with it. Maybe add the odd comment from time to time just to keep the feud simmering nicely, but other than that bollocks to 'em.

The important thing to remember is that we are heading for an all too rare moment when we get to be spectators at a political Battle of Cannae. A double envelopment is heading Nu-Labour's way as both the working class and liberal middle class desert it.

Given everything that has happened since the Crewe and Nantwich by-election, a question can now be seriously asked: will the party survive the next general election with any MPs at all?

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21 June 2008
Weekending: Great Advert
Click the photo to read the text - it's worth it!

My cold seems to be vanishing, but the chest infection that arrived in its wake is still leaving me feeling pretty lousy. All being well I plan to start blogging on Monday, but please don't be too shocked if things are light at The Exile next week.

Have a great weekend!
19 June 2008
Lousy with a cold.
If you are wondering what is going on, I am riddled with a cold that leaves me shivering one minute and sweating the next.

Normal service will be resumed when I start to feel better.
18 June 2008
Why I am standing against David Davis in the coming by-election
This is a guest posting by David Craig, who yesterday announced his candidacy in the forthcoming Haltemprice and Howden by-election, caused by the resignation of David Davis.

Having written Squandered: How Gordon Brown is wasting over one trillion pounds of our money, I have become so incensed at how our leaders have lost touch with the lives of ordinary voters, that I have decided to stand as a candidate against David Davis.

Instead of seeing an MP’s job as public service, our MPs appear to think it is self-service; instead of helping their voters, they just seem help themselves; instead of spending our money wisely, they waste it on worthless schemes promoting their own dubious 'legacy' – the Olympics £14bn+, the NHS IT system £12bn+, Identity Cards £5bn+, MPs’ new offices and so on.

As I have to live on the average salary, I believe that what is important to taxpayers is that we are governed by a new elite of MPs and their subservient bureaucrats who are overpaid, out of touch and waste billions of pounds of our money when the cost of living is spiralling out of control. As taxes shoot ever higher, the Government has squandered over one trillion pounds on failed schemes to improve public services. As fuel prices rocket, MPs think only about increasing their own petrol allowances and not about reducing fuel duty for the rest of us. As the average family must live on about £24,000 a year, MPs want a pay increase of about £40,000 taking them to £100,000 for just 30 weeks work. As private pensions schemes wither away, MPs get the equivalent of £50,000 a year paid into their pension funds.

Because I believe our leaders are overpaid, I commit to giving half my MP's salary to charity. The 12 people who propose, second and sign supporting my candidature can choose the 12 charities for my money.

There are three main areas on which I will campaign:

Firstly our Government needs to respond to the concerns of the general public by such actions as holding a referendum on the Lisbon Treaty, refusing to pass any more power to Brussels , bringing our troops home from Iraq and Afghanistan and setting clear annual limits on immigration.

Secondly, as we move into difficult economic times, our leaders need to demonstrate that they are using our money wisely. They should deal with a few expensive white elephants. For example, they could scrap Identity Cards saving about £5bn, cancel the failing NHS computer system - another £10bn and halve the 2012 Olympics budget saving over £6bn. They should reduce waste in the public sector. Cutting the number of managers in the NHS could save over £2bn, halving the amount the public sector spends on management consultants would save about £3bn and cutting spending on pointless administrative quangos should save over £5bn. Action also needs to be taken to curb the runaway costs of senior civil servants’ salaries and pensions The Government should impose a three-year salary freeze on all public sector staff earning over £70,000 a year, tax the hitherto tax-free lump sum paid to retiring top civil servants and impose a special pensions tax on all public sector employees earning over £50,000 to make their pensions self-financing rather than paid for out of our future taxes.

Thirdly, I would campaign to stop politicians shamelessly filling their pockets at taxpayers’ expense. When this Government swept to power in May 1997, less than half our legislation was initiated and authored in the EU. By 2001 this had reached 55 per cent and, according to an answer given in 2007 in the German parliament (the UK Government has refused to provide the same information), 84 per cent of their legislation now comes directly from the EU.

If you owned a corner shop and you lost more than half of your customers, you might consider reducing your staff and even paying yourself slightly less. Yet, our leaders have never considered cutting their numbers or their remuneration to match their greatly reduced workload. In the last five years alone, the amount of money our MPs have taken in salaries and expenses has gone up by a satisfying (for them) 64 per cent, from less than £100m in 2001–2 to over £155m in 2006–7, the number of expense claims submitted by MPs has almost doubled from just over 30,000 a year to close to 60,000 and the number of staff employed to help our MPs do less and less work has gone up by over a third from around 1,800 to over 2,500.

So I would oppose MPs getting the pay rise they want to take their salaries for thirty weeks’ work from around £60,000 up towards £100,000, I would fight to make MPs submit receipts for all expenses as is normal practice in any other business and I would support moves preventing MPs from employing their own family members with taxpayers’ money.

The gap between our rulers and the electorate widens by the day, while the gap between our main political parties becomes ever narrower. The way our politicians club together to protect their own when the press exposes how they have misused their expenses clearly demonstrates their contempt for those who have elected them. It’s time for a ‘people’s revolt’ against our wasteful and self-serving rulers. I hope my book and candidature will be the first steps.

David Craig, 54, is a former management consultant who has now taken up writing books exposing waste, mismanagement and corruption in government. He is the author of Squandered: How Gordon Brown is wasting over on trillion pounds of our money (2008), Who cares? (2007) a book about the dreadful state of the NHS, and Plundering the Public Sector (2006) about how management and IT consultants are fleecing the taxpayer. He can be contacted at neilmglass@yahoo.co.uk
17 June 2008
Yet Another Royal Ascot Upskirt
OK, you men, these are the last of the Royal Ascot upskirt photos that I have - unless someone wants to send some more. The first two photos of the lady that I have dubbed Madam Saggy-Arse can be seen here, and there is another Royal Ascot upskirt shot of a much nicer bit of talent on display here.

Information reaching your friendly Exile seems to confirm the tale that madam is a solicitor, and based out of the north-east of England - a Geordie, in other words. One correspondent tells me that her name is Leanne, but I have no confirmation of that. If anyone has any more details or photos, please get in touch.

A blogging man cannot live by politics alone, and a good dose of sleaze is needed to keep the hit counter spinning...





Donate to keep the blog going & the sleaze flowing!


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Are the ethnic minorities about to desert Nu-Labour?
Is some of Nu-Labour's ethnic minority core constituency thinking of deserting the sinking ship? One blogger is doing his level best to encourage that with his comment that since "New Labour wants to extend anti-terrorism legislation until every brown person in the country is locked up until proven innocent (or once the police can be bothered to let you out), it makes more sense for brown and black people, who will overwhelmingly face the brunt of this police-state legislation, to vote Conservative".

Chris Paul, who first alerted The Exile to this, thinks that it might be nothing more than a bit of link bait, but the blog concerned, Pickled Politics, is a fairly heavyweight Google Page Ranked Six, so doesn't need to go in for tricks like that to built up its position.

A more likely explanation is that middle class types who happen to be brown-skinned can see the writing on the wall for Nu-Labour and want to get out before the deluge hits. If they do realign themselves behind the Tories then that will create a tension within Tory ranks between the social liberals and the old Monday Club hangers, floggers and send 'em backers, but that is a problem for Conservative Central Office, and nobody else.

What it means is that when we start to build our new party out of the wreckage to come, we don't have to even pretend to be interested in the desires and aspirations of any lump of middle class shit, be it black, white, brown or green.

The party will - must - articulate the ideology of the drink beer, shag women, hate the boss working man and his wife and kids. We'll return to this theme another day, but for now let's just sit back and enjoy the thought of the train wreck to come as Nu-Labour heads towards disaster.

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16 June 2008
Iraq war hero joins the by-election campaign
I have some good news for those Nu-Labour cockroaches who were dreaming that someone would come forward to lend support at the forthcoming East Riding by-election for David Davis' seat. Colonel Tim Collins who led his regiment into action against Iraq in 2003 will be campaigning in the election.

Are you now ready for the bad news, you sad-arsed collection of human vermin? He is going to work for the re-election of David Davis.

Swivel on that fuckers.
The Davis Strategy: another nail in Nu-Labour's coffin
All across the web we are reading hundreds of comments from people who loath the Tories and cannot believe that they are going to support David Davis. They have a point, because for millions of us the thought of voting Tory makes our flesh crawl. That said, if we look at the Davis Affair in the context of the ongoing realignment in British politics, what is happening starts to make perfect sense.

One of the signs that a realignment is under way is a volatility within the political parties, as they cast around for policies that will bolster their positions. The Davis strategy seems to have as its aim, at least in part, a drive to recover those liberal middle class voters who deserted the Tory Party when it was led by Thatcher. Most went off into the Liberal-Democrat camp until Blair tempted them into the Nu-Lab tent in time for the 1997 election. They are the group that is most outraged by Nu-Labour's drive to intern all and sundry for 42 days without charge. It is highly likely, therefore, that Davis will bring them back into the Tory fold, which let's face it, is where they probably feel most at home.

For its part, Nu-Labour is desperately threshing about looking for policies that will bring back the lost working class voters. The problem that they have is that they cannot raise taxes to do it, because that would only encourage their remaining middle class voters to abandon the party even faster than they are doing so already.

So the governing party is trying to tempt them back on the cheap - which is what this legislation is all about. The problem is that this strategy is predicated upon the notion that working class people are stupid enough to forget that they have now been treated with contempt for over a decade. Sadly for Nu-Labour the voting figures do not agree with that notion.

To put things in a nutshell, the Tories will recover their lost voters and Nu-Labour will continue along the path to extinction.

Once the putrid corpse of Nu-Labour has been consigned to its grave, then the new parties and groups that are already being formed can be expected to unite under one banner. Once that happens the realignment will be complete and the normal balance of party politics will have been restored.

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15 June 2008
Labour MPs start to back Davis
In an amazing twist to the saga of David Davis' resignation and the forthcoming by-election for his seat, the Labour MP Bob Marshall-Andrews has pledged his support to Davis and will campaign for him.

In a further move that is guaranteed to wipe the smirk of the faces of Nu-Labour creatures, the newly ennobled former head of MI5, Eliza Manningham-Buller, has also pledged to oppose the 42 day detention law when it reached the House of Lords.

With an eye to bolstering his civil libertarian platform in general, Davis yesterday pledged to support the removal of anyone found to be innocent of a crime from the DNA database. He also pledged to work for tougher laws to control the ever increasing use of CCTV cameras.

Nu-Labour for its part now seems to be seriously considering running a stooge candidate for the seat. John Smeaton the Glasgow Airport baggage handler who helped foil a terrorist plot is a name that is being bandied around.

Given the kicking that one blogger got when he floated this idea, that fact that Nu-Labour is even thinking about this shows just how desperate they are.

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Yet more Royal Ascot Upskirts
Yet more Royal Arsecot upskirts for your viewing pleasure...


God knows who this bird is. The guy who sent me the photos reckons that she is a lawyer. Let's just say that The Exile has his doubts, but even though she is a bit saggy-arsed, readers are invited to enjoy the show.


You know the rules by now: click to enlarge, lads, click to enlarge.



Yet more photos of Madam Saggy-Arse can be seen here.




Donate to keep the blog going & the sleaze flowing!



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14 June 2008
Royal Ascot Upskirt
Your friendly Exile, bringing pleasure to the multitude and giving up a bit of his weekend to bring you this nice photo from Royal Arsecot.

Click to enlarge, chaps. The photo that is. . .

Update: The Sun reported on the 24 June that the girl is a policewoman named Sacha Hindes who works out of Northants HQ. Her boyfriend is Steve Hingley who is also a plod.





Donate to keep the blog going & the sleaze flowing!





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13 June 2008
Nu-Labour: lower than cockroaches
I really should go to bed but since Nu-Labour is busy writing its suicide note I thought that it was all too good to pass up on. As I reported in my last posting, a Nu-Labour hack named Luke Akehurst is having his nuts slow roasted over his suggestion that:
Maybe instead of Labour fielding a candidate in Haltemprice & Howden we should find a Martin Bell type candidate - preferably a recently retired senior police officer, or a survivor or relative of a victim of a terrorist attack, to run under the following 5 word candidate description: "Independent - for detaining terrorism suspects".
It was the "we" bit that first caught my eye, because that is the bit that suggests to the neutral observer that what this pillock really wants is a Nu-Labour stooge candidate.

Anyway, all hell is now breaking loose all across the web. A survivor of the 7/7 attacks in London named Rachel has weighed in to say that she "spits at his repellent idea", and if you think that's a bit rough you really should have a look at the rest of the comments.

Not to be outdone, lots of other buggers are also getting stuck in. The Libertarian Party in a posting headed "Lift a stone, find a Labour activist," called the idea "repulsive". Little Luke got so vewy angwy that he left a comment which simply said: "fuck you lot". It's so nice to see Nu-Labour toadies getting all hot and bothered, it really fucking is.

Later on today when people wake up is when the fun should really start. I must be honest and say that watching Nu-Labour hung out to dry is very, very entertaining.

Update, 15 June 2008, 3.00am

The little spaz is really losing it now. "Come round to my place and say that to my face," says Luke, who is hard, isn't he? Aye, hard as shit and twice as manky. I just love it when middle class pretty boys get upset I really do.

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David Davis makes Nu-Labour cringe
David Davis the Tory shadow Home Secretary has resigned his seat in the commons and will fight a by-election over the vote to extend detention without charge to 42 days.

The main result of this for us is that we get to sit back and watch whilst various types tell us how meaningless this gesture is. Unfortunately for them, the commentators at their postings tend not to agree with this line. As for Davis himself, he wrote a piece for the Guardian and support for his stand seems pretty solid, and that amongst the Guardian's readers to boot. One prime Nu-Labour spaz even suggested that someone - presumably Nu-Labour HQ - should run a stooge, pro-detention candidate, and is being thoroughly roasted for it as I write.

The government has been after a 42 day detention period for some time, but the way this has been handled is a quite wonderful new nail in their coffin. Deals that were cut with various parliamentary factions to get the vote through have only succeeded in making the government look even more sleazy than it did already.

David Davis by way of contrast is coming over in the public eye as a man of principle, who is prepared to put that principle above his parliamentary career. When he is returned to the Commons in three weeks, he will be one of the few MPs who can claim to speak for ideology and principle with a straight face. He will make Nu-Labour's pretty boys look very small indeed.

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12 June 2008
The Truth About David Cameron
Do you want to know the truth about David Cameron?

Click this link.

Cheers: Chris Paul
Moscow's Exile May Close


The Exile is being forced to close, which is a pity if you are the type who enjoys adverts like the above for the Ukrainian army which they ran for us westerners. I'm not talking about this blog, I'm talking about the Moscow based alternative newspaper called the Exile which has been in business since 1997 and which claims a circulation of 25,000 for its fortnightly issues.

The paper is under threat from the Russian authorities and is pleading for funds to enable it to survive at least as an on-line venture. The existing website gets over 200,000 hits a month, so that idea looks like a goer to me.

If you want to know the full story, editor Mark Ames has written up hasty accounts here and here. Basically the paper has annoyed the powers that be and that appears to be that as far as the print edition is concerned.

Will they survive as a website? That all depends on whether they can pay off their debts and start again with a server that the Russian government can't get at.
10 June 2008
Military victories for the west will only lead to final defeat
War, goes the old adage of Carl Von Clausewitz, is the continuation of politics by other means. What he meant by that is that war is not an act of random violence, like a street fight. Rather it is about one state trying to force another to accept its will. Normally that is the job of the diplomatic service, but good old Carl reminded us that when the statesmen fail, then the soldiers will carry out the states' tasks. War therefore is an act of violence to compel our opponent to fulfil our will, as Clausewitz also wrote. Say what you like about him, he had a pithy way with words.

This being so, how close are the western powers to enforcing their will on Iraq and Afghanistan? The point here is that unless they can force those two countries to behave as they wish, all the western military victories in the world will not win them the wars. In that case it will be true to say that the western aggressors will victory themselves to final defeat.

In the case of Iraq, the war against that country is now basically an American adventure. Washington has set up a puppet regime, but that regime seems to have realised that the Americans need them just as much as they need the Americans. Hence the politicians in Baghdad have started refusing America's demands. The latest example came only the other day when the Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki announced that Iraq would not allow its territory to be used for an American attack on Iran.

The Iraqi government seem to have realised that the USA will support them for fear of getting someone else that is even worse in power if they fall. The result of this means that America's freedom of action is severely curtailed, and that means that they are losing the war, since war is all about enforcing one state's will over another.

Outside Baghdad's Green Zone, the Americans either have to bribe their way around the Sunni country, or batter against a Shia door that is held by militias who loath the Shia collaborationists who are the nominal government. Of course the American forces can push the door open, whereupon all the militias do is vanish back into civilian life until the American forces leave the area.

To put Iraq in a nutshell, the Americans have to move around the country with large amounts of dollars or fire-power, in defence of a government that they installed and which they cannot fully control. If this is America's idea of a victory, your friendly Exile can't wait to see what a defeat looks like.

Afghanistan is even more ludicrous in execution as here we have British politicians and military commanders telling us how swimmingly everything is going. In that benighted land the British - who are now fighting their Fourth Afghan War, are no longer engaged in small scale battles with the Afghan tribesmen. They have reverted back to what they know best and are fighting a war of ambushes and roadside bombs, all enlivened with the new threat of the suicide bomber.

Can anyone really claim with a straight face that the war in Afghanistan is being won? The Afghans could continue at this level for decades to come, and probably will unless pressure from the British people forces the government to change course.

The point here is that whatever government the British, et al, do leave behind when they eventually call it a day will probably last as long as most of the other governments that the western powers have installed by the bayonet down the years. Rather less, come to think about it, given the almost total lack of legitimacy that the regime in Kabul has beyond the city's walls.

So, enjoy your victories, you warmongers. Just remember that final defeat will follow the final victory.
09 June 2008
British death toll hits 100 in Afghanistan
A hundred British soldiers are now dead as a result of the war against Afghanistan. According to Air-Chief Marshall Sir Jock Stirrup, they died in a "noble endeavour". The Air-Marshall went on to say that "parts of Afghanistan which were once lawless, there is now governance and rule of law. Across the country, more than seven million children are now in school and increasing numbers of people have access to healthcare."

Actually they died so that Tony Blair and his Nu-Labour gang could continue to pretend that Britain is a great imperial power. Afghanistan will remain the way it is so long as foreign armies enforce the foreigners' writ. Once they leave, then the country will sink back into medieval barbarism.

The notion that we are all post-modern multiculturalists is something that only a Nu-Labour supporter could believe. The Exile is only sorry that a hundred British troops have had to die to ensure that this truism got rammed home.
Left & right: same questions, different answers
A friend of mine many years ago remarked that the one thing that left and right have in common is that we ask the same questions. We may arrive at different answers, but the questions are the same. Let's take the case of National Health Service inefficiency as a case in point: what can we do to prevent British health care from sinking under the waves?

The Devil's Kitchen is a libertarian blog which helped break the story of a woman who was dying of cancer and who was then refused treatment on the NHS because she had the temerity to buy medication that was not available on that service. Linda O’Boyle, who has since died, was told by the magnificently named Southend University Hospital NHS Foundation Trust that “A patient can choose whether to continue with the treatment available under the NHS or opt to go privately for a different treatment regime. It is explained to the patient that they can either have their treatment under the NHS or privately, but not both in parallel.”

The problem that the NHS has is not due to a lack of funding. It is that much of the funds go to pay for a large, bureaucratic management structure that leaches resources out of the body.

The Devil's Kitchen has a solution to this, which is to privatise the NHS and allow people to choose their insurance providers for themselves. The Exile's view is that we need to return the NHS to its original management structure and lose the weight of parasitic managers who currently infest the establishment. Whichever strategy is adopted, the parasites would find themselves being kicked arse over tit onto the street, and left to roll home.

Capitalism is about the bottom line, and socialism seeks to ensure that the producers of wealth are also its main consumers. Neither aims to provide employment for deadwood, so I venture to suggest that the Devil's Kitchen and The Exile would both be quite happy if large numbers of two-legged, pen-pushing, parasitic leaches had salt pored over them.

As I said at the beginning, the conclusions that we reach are different, but the questions are pretty much the same.

Maybe we should all start working together?
07 June 2008
Weekending: bad time for a hard-on
I have no idea who this dipstick is, but he deserves to become famous for the mongish expression on his face and the blue veiner in his strides.

See you next week.
06 June 2008
Dog bites bitch
So this social worker flies over to Sri Lanka and ships street dogs over to the UK. Then one of the rabid muts bites the silly bitch. People, could I make this shit up?

A pity the dog then died because we could have tossed him a bone - or another social worker.

See what the British army thinks about this wonderful tale.

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When you come to the end of a perfect week...


By my arse this has been a good week! In gloating triumph I'm posting Hasta Siempre, as sung by the drop-dead gorgeous, to say nothing of seriously shaggable, Nathalie Cardone.

As most of you will know, it all started on Saturday when I got involved with a bunch of social work shit on their unintentionally hilarious website. As you also know, one of those prime pillocks, then decided to smear me right there on the site. So on Monday a complaint was put in to the General Social Care Council and with luck Britain will soon have one lump of social work shit less polluting the air that every bugger has to breath.

However, the best is still to come. Yesterday I received an e-mail from a certain social worker, pledging support for Sean French. Yes, there was this git, large as life, telling French that he should be supported!

The daft thing about this is that his e-mail was sent to me by accident, as he obviously clicked the wrong button on his computer. Come on, what do you expect? These people are just not that bright.

Now the social workers who run the Community Care site are a bit more on the ball. When they deleted the thread that had contained the libel, I wrote to them and said that even though the libellous posting had been edited, their action could be seen by the General Social Care Council as an attempt to remove evidence. I could almost hear the arseholes clench, and within hours that thread was back as if nothing had happened. Now that's the type of lower middle class arewipes that I like! Quiet, respectful, and without an uppity bone in their bodies. Kick their arses and they bounce agreeably in the right direction.

As for that poor fool who doesn't understand computers very well, I am sure that he realises his mistake by now, and if he doesn't then his gaffers will surely point it out to him. Just as soon as I send them the information that is...

In the meantime, enjoy Nathalie's video and think pleasant thoughts about a country that stood scabby little types against a wall almost half a century ago.

Hasta la victoria siempre, compañeros. Hasta la victoria siempre.

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05 June 2008
Time to laugh at the social work industry


I've had enough of being sweet to lumps of social work shit. No more Mr Nice Exile for me - it's time we got down to some serious business.

I am sick and tired of highlighting individual cases of malpractice on the part of these insolent little turds. Let's debate the social work industry as a whole, and ask ourselves why the people of Britain continue to shell out their taxes, year in and year out, to keep unproductive, parasitic dross like this on the gravy train?

Partly the answer lies in the make-up of the Nu-Labour Party and its councillors and MPs. As I have argued before, Nu-Labour is basically the voice of the under-worked, over-paid council employee - especially the social work filth.

However, another reason is that we do not do a very good job of getting the message out that UK public squalor is a direct result of millions of pounds being spent on social work dross.

Let's treat them with the contempt that they deserve and get people laughing at them. Mocking laughter is one of the most potent weapons in the political arsenal, so let's give the buggers plenty to be humiliated about.

Take this new video by UKSecretCourts. It only runs for 40 seconds and it is brilliant. Drop me a line if you want a version to play on your mobile 'phone and I will send it to you free, gratis and for nothing.

All I ask is that you pass it around to your mates and upload it all over the web.

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04 June 2008
Social work filth gets angry: Exile enjoys the show
We have been having a fun week at The Exile, we have indeed!

It all started on Sunday when UKSecretcourts gave me a link to a site where various social work types reassure one another that they are very important indeed. The fact that their prose tends to the semi-literate just makes the whole site even more hilarious for the casual visitor. Take this heartfelt plea from one of their number as a case in point:
I qualified last year on the MA program which is 2 years. Attendance on my course was by some students was very bad and out of 27 students we regularly had only between 5 and 10 attending in our final year. This was not addressed and how they learnt enough to qualify is a mystery to me.
Where to begin with that one! I think that I'll just content myself by pointing out that they got through because it wasn't really an M.A. You can tell that because higher degrees are by research in the UK. Unless you are at some old poly that has been allowed to degrade the name of university, of course. Then you probably do have to follow a programme, even if they don't teach you how to spell the word properly.

Enough of this merry banter. Your friendly Exile left a few comments, as was reported on Sunday at this very blog. Whereupon all hell broke loose...

One lump of social work filth, a creature that answers to the name of Sean French, posted an hilarious stream of conciousness that is far too long to reproduce here, but then he got so angry he posted an accusation that I am a child molester...

Dear, dear me.

Mothers' for Justice has claimed for a long time that members of the the social work filth use lies and smears to force people to obey them and to silence all criticism. They were right, weren't they? That is exactly what these creatures do.

As for Sean French, all the documentation has been sent to the General Social Care Council, which registers over-ambitious, bovine dross as members of the social work industry. With luck, we might be able to get this creature struck off the register.

Things are obviously getting dirty, which is good, because I am now in my element. However, let's just think about why the social work filth responded in this way. Had I tried my mockery and contempt on army officers, barristers or surgeons, say, they would have just ignored me. People who belong to the true professional groupings are relaxed and confident about both themselves and their membership of a particular professional caste.

The same cannot be said of the social work filth who demand that status for themselves; indeed, the lack of that recognition is one of the things that they whine about on their pathetic little website. However, such recognition will never be accorded to a grasping collection of lower middle class vermin with their puerile little poly degrees.

That's what got them so incandescent with rage and that is why they hit out in that way. I just brought them face to face with the reality of what they are.

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How Nu-Labour continues to alienate people
When I first read the story of a taxi driver who failed to renew his license because he failed the English grammar section of a test I thought that it was yet another Daily Mail special. However, the more I think about it, the more convinced I am that the tale just happens to be true - and this is another reason why Nu-Labour is heading for the scrapheap.

Basically what happened was that Lawrence Kirk (50) failed a test which aimed, according to a council pen-pusher to "assess the candidate's abilities and understanding to enable us to offer the right support in order to fulfil the further requirements in gaining their licence. These include a local knowledge test as well as the BTEC required by the council."

Translated into simple English, this is about providing jobs for lower middle class thickoes with their poly degrees. Get 'em through a teaching certificate and then turn 'em loose to make everyone else's life a misery.

As I have said before, the Tories, if they have any sense, will jump on bandwagons like this and promise to repeal all the legislation that only exists to allow poly wallahs to feel important.
03 June 2008
Why I fight, by UKSecretCourts


This is a guest posting by UKSecretCourts, an anti-social worker activist based in Wales. She uses video for her campaigning, and her work can be watched at this link.

The social work industry is unaccountable in the UK and that is doubly true for their child protection wing. On their word alone, you can be unlawfully arrested and then held in custody. You may find that hard to believe, and you may say that the police would be impartial, and that they would check the evidence before they acted. However, I am sorry to say that impartiality and checking of evidence is not regarded as important in the social work state.

The social work industry did all that to me, in defiance of the court orders that applied in my case. They contacted Abertillery police and had them arrest me in my nightgown at 10.30 pm one night. I tried to tell the police that I had court orders on my side, and all they said was:

"Yeah, well you would say that, wouldn't you?"

So I got to spend a night in the cells. My solicitors were outraged, and by midnight they were screaming at the police that the whole thing was unlawful. The police began to look very confused indeed, especially when they were shown the Crown Prosecution Service letters from CAFCASS, signed by the very officer who had then ordered the police to arrest me, to say nothing of my Court Orders.

The CPS got scared and dropped the charges against me. That's what happens when you fall foul of the social work industry and their dirty tactics. The aim is to intimidate you, so that you obey their every whim.

Dai Davies, my MP, put down an Early Day Motion, to end the secrecy that surrounds my case, so that I can speak about what happened without the gagging order that is currently in place. So far 35 MPs have signed that EDM.

By the spring of this year I began to receive messages via my YouTube page from fathers' rights activists. They are begging me "please keep in touch, we don't want to lose you." You see, now and for the first time, women are speaking up. That frightens the social workers because women are seen as more pliable.

If I am vocal, then something magical happens. Both men and women turn on child protection for the first time. We are still different armies, the men and the women, but we fight as one military and towards one aim, the destruction of the secret courts and an end to rule by the social work industry.

My work only really began this year, but already social workers' fora are discussing it. They seem to think that I am a leader and that I have associates working for me. It does not require a genius to figure out that I am nothing more than an angry mother, but that idea seems to be beyond the capabilities of this semi-educated band. I'm starting to be a thorn in their side, my work slowly filtering through into that of the fathers' rights activists, who are staggered at what I have to say.

As I sat in that police cell, I vowed to myself, that if Nelson Mandela could serve almost 30 years in Prison, then so could I.

Better that than tamely surrender to those creatures of the night.

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02 June 2008
Let's use the social work filth to rally the tribe
Starting tomorrow The Exile will run a series of guest postings by UKSecretCourts, the nom de guerre of a young Welsh agitvideo maker. Most of her postings will involve a video that you will be able to watch here, along with an explanation to ram her message home.

If you tune in tomorrow for the first offering you will find out why UKSecretCourts loathes the social work filth, but why am I providing space for her videos here?

The quick answer is that she is a very good video maker and I want her work to get as wide an exposure as possible. However, that is only part of the answer.

Socialism is built out of the wreckage of capitalism. However, the days when working class people had the economic muscle to hold the capitalist state to ransom have clearly gone, so how can we even irritate the state, given those circumstances? Obviously we need to rethink our strategies.

Capitalism cannot survive without a large parasitic middle class that acts as a buffer between the working class and the owners of capital. This middle class is given rewards by capitalism for its loyalty, and its members enjoy having us to look down on. However, as a class it is weak, and open to attack on many fronts. If that class could be damaged then capitalism itself would be damaged. At the very least, one could envisage a situation where the likes of Rupert Murdoch suddenly decided that it was in their interests to dump that class and seek new arrangements with ours. At best, the sky would be the limit for our class. It all depends on how badly we can degrade those parasitic lumps of shit that go under the generic name of middle class.

As far as those creatures who work in the private sector are concerned, then their time will come, but not yet. We cannot fight a group over whom we have no economic or political leverage. However, that is not the case as far as the middle class scum who are employed by local government is concerned.

This brings me, in a roundabout sort of way to the social work filth. The stories about them are legion - and most working class people loathe, despise and fear them. If those creatures did not exist then they would have to be invented because as targets for working class action they are that perfect.

To make matters even nicer, they are also despised by the middle class proper who tend to work in the private sector. Partly this is due to the fact that the taxes paid by that group help to provide the wages for the highly unproductive social work industry, but it is also due to the sheer effrontery of the industry's members. Just click on this link if you want to know what I mean and consider the number of times that the social work filth who are writing there use the word professional, or one of its derivatives.

The point here is that true professionals don't need to announce their status at every opportunity. However, scabby little slags with their pathetic poly degrees and their equally pathetic demands for status do - and that is another good reason why we might be able to count on allies in this battle.

Obviously the alliance would only be tactical, as our aim is to destroy an entire class. That said, wouldn't it be wonderful if, with just a little prodding from us, the middle class started to fight a civil war? We could just sit in the pub, throw the beer down the necks, and watch the show.

So, having been given this group who consume resources that we as a class need for ourselves, we would be fools if we did not take advantage of the situation by using them to rally our own people to battle.

Let's have the fuckers, in other words.

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01 June 2008
A warm welcome to the social work scum
This is just a quickie to welcome the webmongs who are coming here from this site which exists to allow social work filth to tell each other how important they are. Regular Exile readers should nip over there and check out the number of times that the cockroaches use the word professional in their postings, as it is quite a good laugh.

Do you think that somebody should tell these scabby-arsed lower middle class vermin that real professionals don't have to stake their claims to that status every five minutes because it is taken as read?

Or should we just carry on treating them like the pathetic little maggots that they are?

Update, 8.45pm:

This is just too fucking wonderful for words. The site run by the social work filth lets anyone sign up for a blog. So I did and here is the link. Now God knows how long that blog will stay live, but at the time of writing I am using the filth's bandwidth to taunt the fuckers.

As one of my commentators here pointed out, my two comments on the thread did not stay live for long, but you really need to get over there and see the howls of precious rage that those comments elicited from more than one semi-literate social worker. My favourite is number 37, from a character named Sean French who couldn't even break his hysterical drivel down into paragraphs so excited was he. I wonder if he calmed himself down with a nice wank afterwards?

Update, 2.30am, 2-June-2008:

Insomnia being the terrible thing that it is, I went and had a look at the social work filth site yet again. I came across this entry page which I hadn't noticed before. It lists the seven discussion fora and is headed:

Professional forums - for social care professionals only.

Of those seven fora, no less than five have the word professionals in their headings. People, these creatures deserve our mockery.

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