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22 August 2008
Who still supports the lost cause in Afghanistan?
You have no idea how much I love the wankblogs, especially on a slow blogging night when I can't think of anything to write about. A quick trawl around the spurt sites and bingo - my posting pretty much writes itself. Let us consider this load of old tosh from my favourite wankblog of all, the Drink Soaked Hand Shandyists for War. It's supposed to be an attack on a Seamus Milne piece in the Guardian about Afghanistan:
The death toll is rising because the Taliban, engorged with opium wealth, have decided to go all-out in their bloodcurdling campaign of terror against the Afghan people, whose crime is their persistence in defying the Taliban by their mere happiness with the reality of more than 20,000 of their villages obtaining rural development projects, and 1,080 civil-military cooperation projects, and 4,000 kilometres of new roads where only 50 kilometres’ worth existed in 2001, and the rehabilitation of electrical power systems, and the construction of schools over the past five years sufficient to enrol 6.4 million children, including 1.5 million girls, and the reduction in childhood mortality since 2001 by 26 per cent, and the provision of health-care access to 80 per cent of the population, up from eight per cent back when the Imperialist West was behaving the way Milne wanted.
Got that? One sentence that runs to a whole fucking paragraph - can't you just imagine the writer frantically tapping away one handedly as he pulls his pud with the other? I'll bet he just about finished as he finished, if you know what I mean?

What can we say about this wankfest? The Afghan guerrillas are waging war on the Afghan people... How many times have we heard that from imperialism's little dogs as colonised people fought to free themselves from foreign control? The natives are really, really happy being kicked around by the white men, and if it wasn't for those damned outsiders, why, they would dance on the streets with joy at being occupied.

Then we have a list of all the goodies that the white men have given to the natives. Again, this line is straight out of the Little Imperialist's Christmas Annual. The line here is that of course the natives are happy at all the goodies - who wouldn't be?

Well, maybe some middle class metrosexual would be happy, but most normal people wouldn't. That's because most normal people would suss that along with the goodies comes the foreign troops, the foreign control and the attempt to impose a foreign way of doing things on the locals.

It used to be the right that made those claims, but now the toy-town left has got in on the act; either way it's still bollocks. As Afghanistan spirals out of imperialism's loathsome clutches, sooner or later the occupying forces are going to have to call a conference and cobble together some type of regime that will be Taliban dominated, but which will allow the westerners to get their armies out with a minimum of fuss.

Just about everyone knows that this is how the adventure will end, including Seamus Milne, because that is basically what his article was about. The only people who don't are those sad-arsed losers who continue to wank dementedly over a cause that is already lost.

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