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09 May 2006
Is this writer serious?
Every now and again something gets published in the press that is so monumental in its stupidity that the reader is left gasping in amazement. An example would be this load of old tosh that purports to analyse why married men put it about so much. It could only have been written by a woman. . .

The first part is so-so in its conclusion that we do it because we can, but the second part is pure off the wall lunacy. The writer seems to be saying that older men who shag their students, secretaries or whatever, are going through a kind of infantile phase in which they want to get caught. I really don't think that I have ever read anything quite so silly in my life. . .

When I was a young man - between about the ages of 15 and 30, say, I tended to go out with women much older than myself. I can remember that at the ripe old age of 19 I was going around with a 32 year old for instance. Why did I do this? Because it made for easier shags, that's why. I did not have to go through the "of course I will love you forever" bollocks that was so common in those dim and distant days.

These days - and I'm now in my 50th year - I know that whenever a young woman chases me it is invariably because she is after something other than my nice stiff cock. That's fine as well, because she gets a leg up and I get a leg over. What on Earth is the problem with that? Of course, once the little darlings find out that I haven't got two brass farthings to rub together they quickly drop me like a hot brick, but that's fine as well. The important thing is to separate them from their panties before that happens.

Of course sometimes these transient affairs can turn into something else, but that is rare and most men are not foolish enough to believe that this is the norm rather than the exception. In all the years that I have lived in Mexico, the only affair that I have had that lasted longer than a week or so was one that started when I was 41 and the woman was 19. I will call her "M" and she was a part of my life for over five years. I still miss her in fact, but what the Hell, shit happens.

In general, men regard sex as a bodily function rather like going to the lavatory. A good shag is nicer than a good shit, but it's still a part of the bodily functions table and not to be confused with emotions. Funnily enough, a failure to understand this is probably why women don't understand prostitution. They think that men are paying for sex: actually, men pay so that after the sex is over the woman leaves and the man does not have to talk to her.

That leads us to the second bit of silliness that this writer has penned, namely the notion that men in England are somehow worried that their evening's lucious little squeeze is actually looking to get pregnant by them. Again, this little girl has clearly misunderstood the male mentality. If some bird is daft enough to get knocked up then that it is because she wants it to happen. It is of no concern to the man who has probably forgotten her existence by the time the tests results come through.

It's hard to believe that folk get paid good brass for writing this nonsense, isn't it?

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