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07 December 2005
I worry about these people. . .
The hand shandyists for war, what can I say about them? One bloke wrote to me and said that they were nothing but a bunch of cunts, so I wrote back and said that cunts are useful and these buggers are of no use to man, beast nor Labour Movement. Some bugger else wrote in and gave me a link that showed a photo of a really ugly creature. Turns out she's the wife to one of them. My correspondent said I should feel sorry for the bloke, as he could be had up for walking around with an offensive wife, but I've got no sympathy for him. She's a former actress, did you know that? Yeah, she had a minor role in Psycho, she was the one sat in the rocking chair. As for him, he's such a short-arsed little fucker that he could get a job in an Ancoats' swill-shop walking under the tables to serve the drunks down there. Still, the good thing is that when it's raining he doesn't need to wipe his feet when he enters his house - his arse wipes away his footprints as he walks along. However, I don't want to be too unkind, so I won't give you a link to his site. . .

I do worry about all these wankers, though. For years they pretended to be socialists and working class, but they were never really part of the tribe. Now they are on the long march to their natural class home, but that journey is long and hard.

It is with pleasure, therefore, that I can report that one hand shandyist has now made a long stride towards his destination. Step forward that lad who said that if Labour ever became socialist, "the country" would have a fine leader in David Cameron, the new Tory capo de tuti capi.

I hope that nobody points out to him that socialism has its roots in working class solidarity and any alliance with our enemies can only ever be temporary and tactical. Thus the notion that we have anything in common with our enemy on the basis of sharing the same island is, well, a bit silly. Please don't tell him because I want him and his breed to carry on walking. They will all be much more contented when their journey is finally over. So will we come to that.

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