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08 November 2005
Tiny Tony's pygmies
I don't get this story at all. The Grauniad is reporting that certain British minsters were treated with contempt by their American counterparts. Now, I can understand anyone treating Blair himself like shit because he has a pretty boy face that is just asking for a fist, but the allegations don't involve him. They involve Straw, Hoon and John Prescott. Well, I can understand Americans treating the first two like office boys because they are basically just middle class arsewipes who have no business being Labour ministers, anyway, but Prescott? I just don't believe it.

Prescott is an ex-seaman just like I'm an ex-everything else. He is Ruskin College, Oxford, and the University of Hull. I'm Ruskin and the University of Manchester. He's a decade or so older than me, but we are both the same; trades' unionists who don't take shit, but who enjoy spreading plenty of of it around.

It is basic tactics that when you are going into a meeting with human filth to dress down, keep your hands in your pockets and answer in monosylables. The whole of your being is giving out the signal that you don't want to be there and the people around you are little more than two-legged cockroaches. How the hell could John Prescott forget that simple rule?

I remember, a few years ago, a Black guy taught me a little trick called "blanking," which I had never heard of before. Basically, what you do is look straight ahead and ignore the creature in front of you. It's like he is not there, he does not exist, he is beneath even your contempt. I taught him that if you call middle class types "mate" or "darling," depending on gender, the result is just the same - you can get them really wound up which more than makes up for the fact that you are having to spend time in their company. ( I remember once when one little darling got on her high horse and said that as she treated me with respect she expected the same in return from me. I replied that of course she was to treat me with respect because I was working class. For my part I would continue to treat her as the fat, ugly, middle class cow that she was. I think that I had just got through telling he that if she had the last cunt in England I would still have prefered to have a wank, when she burst into tears. See how easy it is?)

Now the point about all of this is that Prescott knows all these tricks and probably a few more besides. Furthermore, the Americans needed the British to provide a fig-leaf of international cover for their aggression against Iraq. Prescott could have told the Chimp to send one of his daughters to the British Embassy that night and the Chimp would probably have told him that he could fuck the pair of them, such was Washington's need at that moment.

For all these reasons I don't buy the tale as it involves John Prescott.

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